Let me tell you a story. It’s about me. When I first went back to work, after my first baby, I gave my babysitter a video camera so I could see the first step, hear the first word, and everything else. I told her, “Catch it on video!” After a while I realized that I don’t need to be there at every moment. It doesn’t have to be her very first step—I’ll be there for the first step she takes for me. With my second child, I was more relaxed.
Figure out what’s important to you and what your family values are. That way, when your kids play the guilt game, as in, “Mommy, you’re going to work because you don’t love me anymore,” you’ll be ready with your answers. Your response might be something like, “Mommy went to school for a long time to work and now she’s going back.” Kids don’t need a big explanation. If you’re okay with your choices, your children will be, too. And you’ll stay in touch with what really matters in their lives.
Natalie Gahrmann
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Thanks for submitting this. My son turns 4 months next week and I've been home with him since birth, but now it's time for me to return to work. I've cried many days praying that I'm making the right decision. I just took on a new job Monday thru Friday that I'm excited about but ultimately my family comes first. I don't want to miss out on anything, but in the long run I want my son to have nice things and for him to have nice things I need to work. My husband is in the military so he's back and forth with work and he's actually being shipped away for a few months which makes things a little harder for me. I love being a mom and my son is everything to me. I'm going to miss him so much. My husband keeps telling me that what makes me happy and what is best for me will be best for our son and also make him happy. If I'm home and not working I'll be stressed about finances and not be happy. If I'm working then I'll be upset I'm away from my son. Is there a happy medium? Maybe once I'm actually working things will be a little bit better, but I don't want to miss out. My mom is my babysitter so he's in good hands but it's not the same. He's the best thing that has every happened to me. Am I doing the right thing?
My daughter is 6 and often questions why I need to go to work and cannot stay at home with her. I tell her that if mummy didn't work I wouldn't be able to buy her all the nice things she has or go on holidays or pay Santa for his gifts and she accepts this!