Definitely. I’m very concerned if you’re letting your daughter email people she hasn’t met. After all, you wouldn’t let her get in the car with someone you’ve never met before.
It’s true that kids this age need some privacy; for example, while getting dressed or while reading a book. But just as you wouldn’t let her spend time with people that you don’t know, you shouldn’t let her do this on the Internet, either. There are dangerous things she can see online and very dangerous people such as child predators.
At this age, your daughter still needs your guidance, especially when it comes to knowing the difference between right and wrong. Spend time online with her. Make sure the sites she visits are age appropriate. The computer should be located in a central room where there is always someone who is able to watch her. It’s also okay to control what she has access to and to review her online history.
You may also want to limit her time online. We used to advise parents to limit TV time, but now with some kids spending four or five hours a day online, it’s just as important to limit computer time. The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that children at this age spend no more than one or two hours a day in front of a screen -- any screen.
There’s one exception to this rule: homework. If your child is truly doing a school assignment, then she may need more time, but you should also be aware of what she is doing and how much time that assignment takes.
Tanya Remer Altmann
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I cannot believe a parent is asking a question about a 13 year old on the computer, who is the parent ? achild at that age really cannot be expected to know what might be right for her. You should be making those calls. There is so many adults out there preying on young girls and boys. You should be monitoring everything she does. Some question really donot need to be asked. Thats why so many children are out of control the parent need help.
First, you need to clearly explain the dangers of e-mailing people she doesn't know on the internet. Include that she isn't to e-mail people she doesn't know, IM or send her picture to them. You need to monitor what she is doing on the internet and tell her if she is in contact with strangers again she will be punished. I would take away any recreational use of the computer and she would only be allowed to use it for school work but that is just me.
Oh my... your answer couldn't have been more on-point, Tanya. My son is 16, and he still has to work on the computer in the kitchen, in full view of everyone. He's been begging for a lap top, but we're just not convinced that he should be left alone with a computer until he's in college and has enough time only to do classwork on it.
I sympathize with the poster...my 14 yr old stepdaughter is out of control with online! She created a myspace i monitored it and logging in with her email/password and saw things i didnt approve of and deleted her acct. What does she do? Next time she went to her friends she created a new one behind our backs, i found it and managed to get the password and i still monitor it. Since then i have 'banned her' from my computer, taken her cell cuz of AOL instant messaging. We have talked to her repeatedly about talking to people she dont know online, the info, pics etc that go up that people can see. She seems like shes listening and then 2 days later i find out shes at it again from someone elses computer, talking to 24 yr olds (her pretending to be 24), and 18-16 yr olds in other states etc. I am constantly looking online to see if any new accts have been created behind our backs that i can find. I just cant keep up. Besides dropping her off at school and picking her up every day to take her home (isnt possible while working) and locking her in her room 24/7 i dont know what else we can do. She lives with us, her dad has tried to talk to her mother who is really uninvolved in every sense and goes out of her way not to be bothered with it all. Our next step i think is seeing if we can get a police officer to talk to her about how dangerous it is meeting / talking to people online who she dont know.
The easiest way to is to install Internet Filter. I have a 13 y.o. and it's been really hard. It was getting out of control. So I simply installed filter ( (some Australian Integard software) and limited his time online. You just schedule it in advance so he knows that today he's got an hour - not more!
I also can login with my admin pass and see what sites he visited. He knows about online safety and he's ok, so I do not really filter content that much. I just blacklisted gross sites!
It works for me.
If you want to keep your child safe on the internet, I recommend checking out togetherville.com - a friend recently sent me the link, I signed up, and it looks like it could be a life saver.
www.togetherville.com