Sorry to hear about your situation and your dad's failing health. Being the primary caregiver for your father, in addition to your own family, has stressed you physically, emotionally and even socially. As a caregiver, you have the obligation to take care of yourself, not just for your own sake but also because you can't be a good caregiver unless you are healthy in body, mind and spirit.
Unfortunately, because there is too much to do and so many things beyond your control, guilt is the primary emotion involved in caregiving. Let go of the guilt that's beating you up--because it serves no useful purpose.
But do recognize the type of guilt that can be used as your impetus to change something. And you really do need to change something: You are on the road to "caregiver burnout." Some ideas:
· Seek out a professional to help you obtain additional resources.
· Take a realistic view of your situation. Accept the situations you can't change, and begin changing those that you can.
· Set reasonable limits for yourself on how much you are capable of doing. Don't be afraid to ask for--and accept--help from others.
· Practice wellness behaviors that help maintain your health and well-being, such as excercise and meditating.
· Join a support group, or enlist a few close, trusted friends with whom you can share your feelings and discuss your concerns.
Not only do you deserve "me" time, you absolutely need it!
Natalie Gahrmann
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I to am a married mom with a 2 year old, 2 pre-teens and the sole caretaker of my elderly mother. I guess you could say that I definetly understand what you go through and how you must feel. It can be so very draining. As of lately my mother-in law saw how exhausted and depressed I was and took it upon herself to come to my house 2x a week so I could take care of my mom's bills, pills and groceries etc... and also have a day for me to get OUT and excercise, shop etc..... In the beginning I felt so guilty and a bit inadequate. As time went on I started to feel so much better. I went from saying "I feel so guilty" to saying "Thanks I needed that" Find a way out once in awhile. You will view your life in a whole new way. Good luck!