Here's the deal: You had a baby with a teenager, and though you've been forced to grow up and take responsibility for another human being's life, your baby's father doesn't necessarily feel the gravitational pull of having to act like an adult in a grown-up relationship. This is because he's still a teenager.
And, baby or no, most teenage boys tend not to have an allegiance to any one girl, particularly if there's another girl just around the corner, ready, willing and able to enjoy his attention and affection.
This is not to say that your boyfriend is incapable of being faithful. It's just that it's a lot more challenging when you're young and still in the throws of experiencing what it's like to be single and ready to mingle, and really, you don't have the very real responsibility of raising a child because someone else is handling the day-to-day baby care.
Have a frank, honest discussion with him: Tell him that you want to be with him and build a life together with the baby, but that you can't continue feeling like he's two seconds from cheating. Then give it to him straight, no chaser: If he can't respect you enough to stop flirting with other girls and risk the temptation of cheating on you, then the two of you need to find other arrangements.
Be prepared to make good on that promise, too, and know that you've got a lifetime ahead of you to find a man who will do right by you and your child.
Denene Millner
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Good advice but that type of behaviour (flirting with other women online or in person) is not just for teenage boys! I have been married for almost 16 yrs (to the same man) and I have caught him flirting online with old friends, he even flirts with the waitress at a pub we go to regularly! he says it is just harmless fun " we are just friends havingsome fun!" I got so sick of it that I flirted with an old friend from high school when we ran into him and I tell you my husband so pissed that I would do that and I gave him back his famous line "we are just friends having some fun" and then I said doesn't feel very nice does it so now you know how I feel when you do it! I don't think thye really understand the feelings women feel when they flirt with other women, they have it in their heads as long as they are not touching they are not hurting anyone!
Oh boy! Can I relate to your article. I think perhaps your "picker" wasn't working. I have been a life-coach, for many years, and specialize in helping women find clarity. Once you know how to fix the "picker", you never have to suffer through this again.
You need to set CLEAR boundaries right now, as right now it is innocent flirting, but it will escalate.
Good luck, I know you can do this!
Love,
Bonnie Bruderer
Creator & Founder
The One Coaching & Your Best Friend Called
www.theonecoaching.com
www.yourbestfriendcalled.com
415.302.5263
Denene,
The question is WHY do you except it? Look, a male will treat you the way you allow him to think he is getting away with something. In other words you are letting him treat you this way. Steve Harvey has his new book out "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man," educate yourself. Stop excepting things you truly don't care for. If he is not ready to grow up then you may need to move on. Find yourself, get to know who you are in the sense that what you want is what you want and you will not except nothing less from you boyfriend. He needs to respect you.