Momtourage > Need Advice? > Can I get my teen daughter interested in sports again?

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THE QUESTION :

My daughter is 14 and she used to love sports. She played hockey and swam competitively.  But now it seems she thinks sports are not girlish enough. She's more into clothes and hanging out at the mall. How can I get her interested in sports again?
 

THE ANSWER:

First, let me say that it is possible for your daughter to be "girlish" and still play competitive sports. Unfortunately, in youth sports programs across the country kids drop out at dramatic rates as they age.

 

The numbers are worse for girls than boys.The biggest drop-out rate takes place between the ages of 12 and 18. This is largely due to what is known as the "varsity model," which means to continue participating in sports, kids need to be among the top players. In other words, they must either make the varsity team, or forget it.

 

This model has been around for a long time and it turns many kids off, often before they've even reached puberty and had a chance to grow and develop. If your daughter sees no chance for success in sports, you will likely have a difficult time getting her to participate at this point.

 

I would love to see our middle schools let all kids play. This could be accomplished by doing away with "cuts" and having multiple teams within the school. Sure, it would cost more money, but think of the value we'd get for every dollar spent..

 

Sadly, the "varsity model" has taken much of the fun out of youth sports and turned it into an activity solely for the athletically gifted.



Curt Hinson
4 Comments
On January 22, 2009 10:05 AM

top center

On January 22, 2009 1:48 PM
jenn said:

Another feeling i have is we as parents are pushing our children into sports at a younger and younger age and by the time they get to be a teenager they are just plane tired of sports and everything that goes with it.
My neice is this way and we started my daughter in Tball and she's already talking about when she can play softball but i worry will she want to do this when she gets older because she started so young.
Good luck.
jenn

On January 22, 2009 2:44 PM
debbi said:

My 12 year old daughter has played travel softball and rec ball since she was 7. She loves it and now that she is in middle school she plays for her JV team and when it looked like they wouldn't have enough girls to make a team, she got it together and made all of her friends try out and spoke to everyone she could. They now have an entire team of great girls. Encourage your daughters to consider that they will have even more friends. Mine loves her team, she calls them her softball sisters!! She has many different groups of friends. We insist she belong to some sort of team sport for the excersize and the experience of what it is like to belong to a team. She is tall, lean and muscular and I attribute most of that to eating healthy and daily excersize with her team!! Kids these days must be encouraged to do some sort of physical activity. I tell her it's easier to stay thin and excersize regularly now then try to lose it later and get into a routine then. If your daughter is worried about clothes and friends too much maybe it's time to get involved in her life a bit more and encourage the sports or at least an excersize program that maybe you can do together to keep her healthy. My kids have their down time and privacy but I also stay completely immersed in their lives and make sure I know what is going on.

On January 24, 2009 9:35 AM
Jen DC said:

This does nothing to actually answer her question.

Unfortunately, it's going to be hard to encourage your daughter to return to sports for the reasons he's mentioned. However, it's not impossible.

Try taking a group of her new girlfriends to a women's team sporting event. Maybe think about coaching the team yourself or playing! If nothing else, go on family bike rides, play catch in the yard and remind her that to fit into all those clothes, she should maintain the slim body she has now - through exercise.

I don't know - I was and am still a "tomboy" at 34. I play soccer, run, bike and occasionally swim and I love them all. It helps with stress, it helps me sleep well, and I'm told I look anywhere from 18 to 25 rather than 34, although that is definitely helped by the clothes I wear and the company I keep (currently a recent grad from law school). Anyway, appeal to her vanity first.

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