When young girls first start wearing makeup, they usually wear too much. She's lucky to have you to guide her. Explain to her that beauty comes from within and that too much make up can actually distract from her natural beauty. At age 11, lip-gloss and a tiny bit of eye shadow should suffice.
Ideally you would love for your stepdaughter's mom to be consistent with your ideals and beliefs. Often, however, one parent has a slightly different approach. Demonstrate your make up beliefs by serving as a role model and gently guiding her -- instead of teaching her something that conflicts with what her mom tells her.
Be available for consultation and help. Offer tips on good hygiene in a loving way. You can even buy some gentle, age-appropriate products and leave them as a treat in her bathroom at your house. In cases where you feel her behavior is really inappropriate for her age, let Dad take a central role in talking to her mom.
Tanya Remer Altmann
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I used to work at the Clinique counter in Macy*s at our local mall for a couple years. Where we live (minutes from the beach on central Florida's east coast) the average woman, teenager & pre-teen all (about 98%) have a very natural/simple style. They wear very little make-up if any, and lean towards natural tones and neutral colors. But where I grew up in the northeast, make-up is more widely used and all varieties of colors and more heavily applied. So take where you (and your stepdaughter) live into consideration as well.
A lot of mothers would bring their daughters to the Clinique counter for advice and help around her age. This may be a good option for you and her (bonding too), since a lot of young girls don’t think their mothers know anything about the latest trends and styles of make-up and are not “with it”. The girls enjoyed this special time with their mothers as well, and they would feel special coming to the Clinique counter for a “make-over” from a professional. Also if seen by their friends they would look “cool” too (Clinique remains to be top on the list with the younger market & their price point & items cater to that). You can make an appointment, or if the counter doesn’t look busy, just ask one of the beauty consultants if they can do a “mini” make-up lesson for your step-daughter. I was always more than happy to do so! Rather than cleaning, inventory, schedules, or some other form of busy work that I hated!
Most people do not realize that make-over’s and lessons are 100% complimentary at Clinique counters. All they ask (and they will usually advise you upon scheduling your appointment) is that you purchase something- whether it’s a lip-gloss, eye shadow, blush, anything… or a skincare item. No tipping is allowed either! Your purchase is a token of appreciation for their time, and helps them personally to reach their sales goal for the day. Clinique has an amazing skincare routine for young girls especially, and it’s fairly reasonable in price, about $35 for 3 products. It is their 3-step program; you may have heard of it, it’s what they are famous for. 1. Step Cleanse (soap), 2. Step Exfoliate (toner/clarifying liquid), 3. Step Moisturize (their lotion). It is tailor-made, to custom-fit to their specific skin type & needs, so they will feel extra special, it’s just for them and an added plus for you, as the mom forking out the money is that it’s guaranteed to work or you get your money back!! (Most people don’t know that either). Also it’s 100% fragrance free, allergy tested & dermatologist developed, which is great for her young sensitive skin.
What some parents do, so that they don’t have to spend so much money on their child (unless that is not an issue, but with many it is) is buy the 3 step products & have her follow the regimen at home, then take the make-up tips and colors they use (have the consultant write them down) and take the list to the drug store (or Wal-Mart) and buy similar make-up colors & products that are less expensive. Also keep in mind Clinique has their specials & in-store events several times a year, the free gift with purchase is the best! So you can always come back and buy one or two of the items on the list during the promotion and get a free gift bag filled with more goodies to try!