Both yogurt and fish are wholesome good foods, but for a small number of kids they cause allergies. Ask your pediatrician for guidelines. If food allergies run in your family, you may be advised to hold off on dairy products (including yogurt) until 12 months, and fish until age three.
But if food allergies aren't a problem, you can try both yogurt and fish starting at about nine months of age. Just introduce them one at a time. Then wait two to four days before adding another new food. Introducing one new food at a time will make it easier to determine if the the new food is problematic.
When you start her on yogurt, choose one that is made from whole milk, and add your own fruit purees. Many fruit-flavored yogurts are sweetened with high-fructose corn syrup or artificial sweeteners—avoid them.
I encourage you to offer fish as soon as your pediatrician gives the okay. Fish carries health benefits children can't get from any other foods. Eat it yourself as well; kids who see their parents eating fish are more likely to eat fish too. I would start your baby with a lean white fish fillet such as haddock or cod. Buy fresh fish that has been caught in the wild and cook it within 24 hours.
To prepare a fish fillet, place it on a lightly oiled pan, and cook it in a preheated 400 degree oven for seven minutes. Cooking it quickly at a high temperature keeps it moist and tender..
For an eight-month-old baby, it's best to serve it mashed or chopped. A fillet should have no bones in it, but double check to be sure!
]]>Here's the deal: You had a baby with a teenager, and though you've been forced to grow up and take responsibility for another human being's life, your baby's father doesn't necessarily feel the gravitational pull of having to act like an adult in a grown-up relationship. This is because he's still a teenager.
This is not to say that your boyfriend is incapable of being faithful. It's just that it's a lot more challenging when you're young and still in the throws of experiencing what it's like to be single and ready to mingle, and really, you don't have the very real responsibility of raising a child because someone else is handling the day-to-day baby care.
Have a frank, honest discussion with him: Tell him that you want to be with him and build a life together with the baby, but that you can't continue feeling like he's two seconds from cheating. Then give it to him straight, no chaser: If he can't respect you enough to stop flirting with other girls and risk the temptation of cheating on you, then the two of you need to find other arrangements.
Be prepared to make good on that promise, too, and know that you've got a lifetime ahead of you to find a man who will do right by you and your child.
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As the mom of three rather balky waker-uppers, I feel for you. I bought an alarm clock for one of my kids. And he took to it with great enthusiasm, cheerfully setting the alarm for the next morning. Yes, it did manage to wake him. But then my son climbed back into bed and pulled the covers over his head. So, in all, a mixed verdict.
Knock on the door before you enter the bedroom; gently hug or kiss your child; then open the shades or curtains, chatting quietly about the weather or anything that doesn't demand a response. Leave for a few minutes and return to make sure there are signs of waking life.
Humor can work wonders at this point. My kids used to like when I did the Mommy Crane: I'd slide my arms underneath their sleep-floppy bodies and hoist them slowly, jerkily into the air as if I were on a construction site.
Another successful tactic is to pretend to be a nature-documentary narrator: "Here we see the dozing Homo Sapiens Juniorus, tucked into her traditional burrow. Oh! Notice how she curls up in response to the light. Soon she will awaken from her hibernation and eat her Cheerios." Keep it short and sweet, and tell your child the next time you come in, he or she needs to have both feet on the floor.
Another effective approach is to remind your child of something he or she will enjoy about the day, whether it's a playdate, or spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, or "hey, do you want to wear those new jeans?" The idea is to engage your child's thoughts so it's easy for her to bridge the space between being prone in bed and being vertical and into the day. Whatever your method, keep it light and low-key until your child is clearly awake.
Finally, do a bedtime check: A 7- or 8-year-old should be getting 10 to 11 hours of sleep. So if that's not happening, get your child to bed earlier. At night, reverse the morning routine, so you're winding down with a book or quiet conversation to lights out.
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Even though it's cold outside kids can still get out and play. As temperatures drop and darkness starts earlier, it becomes more difficult to get kids outside to play. However, just about any game that can be played in the warm weather can be played in the cold weather.
One of my favorites is Beanbag Air Hockey. You'll need a bean bag (or something soft that will slide across the floor) and a smooth floor, such as wood, tile or linoleum.
Two players get down on all fours (knees shoulder width apart and hands out in front of the knees) facing each other about 6 or 8 feet apart:
The players take turns sliding the beanbag back and forth across the floor trying to get the beanbag to either hit or go between the other player's knees. If successful, that player scores a goal and receives one point. Players can block the beanbag using their hands.
To add a little upper-body strength to the game, play the game in "push-up" position (on your feet instead of your knees, hands shoulder width apart). To score a goal you must slide the beanbag between the other player's hands.
]]>Years ago, I knew a mom who sent her kids to school with waffle sandwiches. Her kids liked waffles better than bread, and they were easy for her to prepare. She toasted the waffles, put on a few slices of banana and a little peanut butter, drizzled a little honey, made a sandwich and cut it into small squares. Her kids loved it. You could use cream cheese instead of peanut butter.
Since your kids like noodles, why not send them to school with a thermos filled with their favorite noodle combination or soup? Simply warm the food in the microwave and preheat the thermos before you fill it. It'll be warm and yummy at lunch time.
Or create your own Lunchable-type kit. Buy small plastic containers and fill one with a healthy dip such as flavored yogurt, hummus or salsa. Fill another container with sliced fruit or grapes, or experiment with different type of "dippers" such as cucumber sticks, sliced peppers, even whole green beans. If they don't like veggies, try whole-grain crackers or quartered tortillas.
They can even build their own sandwiches if you send the ingredients. Fill one of the boxes with whole-wheat crackers, pita bread or tortillas cut into quarters, another box with cheese slices and another container with dip or a spread (such as nut butter, tomato sauce, hummus, salsa or guacamole). Put all the boxes in a colorful lunch box along with an ice pack, a drink and send it with your children to school.
Ask your children for help with ideas on what to put in the boxes. Kids often have great ideas. And they're more likely to eat the foods they choose!
]]>Your newborn still needs to feed when he wakes up every 3 to 4 hours at night. That said, good sleep habits are best formed at a young age, and there are some things you can do now to make it easier for your little one to begin sleeping through the night in a few months:
3 to 4 months of age: Around this age, it is important for him to learn how to fall asleep on his own. If he gets used to always being fed or rocked to sleep, he will need you to perform this ritual in the middle of the night. So if he falls asleep while feeding, reverse your bedtime routine (feed first, then bath, pj's and story) so you put him in the crib while he is still awake. When he does wake up in the middle of the night, give him a few minutes. Often it's just a wakeful part of his sleep cycle and he'll soothe himself back to sleep.
4 to 6 months of age: Your baby no longer needs to feed in the middle of the night, so if he does wake up, allow him to put himself back to sleep. It's okay if he cries a bit;, he'll quickly learn how to soothe himself back to sleep if you let him. Keep your bedtime routine consistent so he knows that this is the time to sleep all night long.
Good luck and pleasant dreams!
]]>Yes, having a child is something that should be joyful and celebrated, but the expense of it all--paying for the formula, the diapers, the clothes, the medical bills, the daycare, etc.--can be a bit overwhelming, especially in these hard economic times. Your fiancé is smart to be concerned about how to finance it all, especially if he doesn't feel like he makes enough to do what he probably feels he's charged to do as a father-to-be: Take care of his family. My guess is that he's not so much unhappy about his impending fatherhood as he is worried about how he's going to adequately provide for you and the baby.
Then show your fiancé ways that the two of you can cut costs so that you can afford what you need, and maybe even save up for a few things that you want. Maybe you can agree to do your own manicures and cut down the salon visits to once a month, or he can start packing lunch instead of buying it each day. However small or large the cutbacks, you'll be showing him dollar-for-dollar that, even though it'll take a bit of sacrifice, you can afford this baby.
More importantly, stress to him that you're okay with doing without, if it means that the two of you can work together to raise a beautiful, healthy baby in a home that may not necessarily be filled with things, but most certainly will be filled with love. He'll understand this soon enough.
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I stand in solidarity with you on the whole playful thing. What mom has energy enough to be a midnight seductress to her husband after spending the entire day entertaining, feeding, chauffeuring, and chasing and cleaning up after the kids all day? Honestly, by the time I fall into bed some nights, the tap on the shoulder is about as welcome as a bucket full of ice water being thrown in my face. Still, I'm well aware that my husband, Nick, needs attention, and affection from the woman he loves, just as much as my children need it from their mom.
Now, we're not spending every waking moment dipping behind closed doors to get it on; life happens and you do get tired--other things do take priority. But it's still possible to give each other those simple "you're hot" reminders to keep your minds on one another. Borrow a few of the things I do for my husband to keep it spicy:
1. Give him a flirty phone call, email, or text. He sure won't be thinking of the other ladies at the office if he's got a sexy note reminding him what he's got waiting back at home.
2. Whisper in his ear that if he gets the kids to bed early, you two can "play." You'll be amazed at how much more energy you have when someone else handles the nighttime routine and you can start "playing" a little earlier in the evening.
3. Stop him mid-sentence with a long, deep kiss--the kind you used to give him when you were dating. Nothing says "you're hot" better than a little tongue.
4. Take a walk with the kids after dinner, and hold his hand in yours. It's still romantic to take a stroll together, even if the children are tottering behind you.
5. Play a naughty game together. See who can toss the socks into the laundry basket; you miss, you strip off a piece of clothing.
None of these suggestions are expensive or hard to do. All you need is a little enthusiasm--the one thing that probably attracted your husband to you. He'll be grateful, and in the end, so will you.
]]>Sorry to hear about your situation and your dad's failing health. Being the primary caregiver for your father, in addition to your own family, has stressed you physically, emotionally and even socially. As a caregiver, you have the obligation to take care of yourself, not just for your own sake but also because you can't be a good caregiver unless you are healthy in body, mind and spirit.
But do recognize the type of guilt that can be used as your impetus to change something. And you really do need to change something: You are on the road to "caregiver burnout." Some ideas:
· Seek out a professional to help you obtain additional resources.
· Take a realistic view of your situation. Accept the situations you can't change, and begin changing those that you can.
· Set reasonable limits for yourself on how much you are capable of doing. Don't be afraid to ask for--and accept--help from others.
· Practice wellness behaviors that help maintain your health and well-being, such as excercise and meditating.
· Join a support group, or enlist a few close, trusted friends with whom you can share your feelings and discuss your concerns.
Not only do you deserve "me" time, you absolutely need it!
You have my sympathy--and my empathy. As a toddler, my son furiously protested being in his car seat, so I had to entertain him, unseen, from a distance and drive carefully at the same time. Talk about stress! The best options for amusing a car-bound toddler meet the criteria ofrequire novelty, independence, and safety, since --you can't constantly keep handing him things, or play patty cake, nor constantly can you watch him constantly as you're driving. Some ideas:
1) Sing songs or tell stories. If you're not up to for 15 rounds of "Old MacDonald" or spinning elaborate tales of bunnies and frogs in the forest, rent or buy CDs. Classic stories like "Guess How Much I Love You" and "Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed", will keep you both cheerful, as will the catchy tunes on "Toddlers Sing" by Music for Little People and Dan Zanes' "Rocket Ship Beach." Check your library, eBay, or www.freecycle.org for free or cheap CDs. Or just turn on the radio to a Top-40 station--your child is too young to understand the lyrics, thankfully, and the beat will hold his attention, especially if you sing along--loudly.
2) Offer a satisfying, healthy snack that takes awhile to get through, whether it's Cheerios or quartered grapes in a cool spherical Boon Snack Ball container, or a low-fat, -yogurt-fruit smoothie served in a toddler-safe straw cup like Gerber's Cool Twisties Straw Cup.
3) Reserve a stash of fresh books just for car time, but familiarize yourself with them before you hand them to him. If you know what book your toddler is paging through, ask him questions about what he's looking at, or have him find the page with, say, the parrot on a pirate's shoulder. Sturdy pop-up or lift-the-flap books like "Peek-a -Who?" by Nina Laden, the Maisy books, "Tails," and other books by Matthew Van Fleet will happily occupy a toddler.
4) And of course, toys, toys, toys... Again, try to keep them fresh by rotating them in and out of the car. Avoid anything that's hard (likely to become a projectile), or, depending on your stamina, horribly noisy. Some good, no-mess options: travel drawing boards, stickers and magnetic puzzles like those by Melissa & Doug.
5) If, despite your precautions, you are stuck in a car with a bored, irritable toddler, hand over these desperation options: a pocket pack of tissues; a sheet of paper you've drawn a funny face on and then folded up into the tiniest square for your kid to unfold; your house keys; the vinyl folder in the glove compartment that holds the car registration, insurance card, and car manual; an eyeglasses case. Finally, when your toddler can't keep it together in the car, it might help ease your frustration to look at things from his point of view: He's just learned how to walk on his own and you want to strap him down? Cue another round of "Old MacDonald."
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Although young children don't improve their fitness levels in the same way adults do when they "work out" or exercise, it's not harmful to do some physical activity that mimics the type of movements that are involved in skiing.
I don't recommend you try to get your kids into an exercise regimen to prepare them for skiing, though. Doing so may make skiing seem more like a chore than fun, and may turn them off of it. To make it seem fun, have a "Family Movement Challenge" night and try a couple of the following:
· Who can jump side to side for 30 seconds without stopping?
· How many jumps can you do in those 30 seconds?
· Who can jump forward and backward for 30 seconds without stopping?
· How many jumps can you do in those 30 seconds?
· Place 10 to 12 small pieces of masking tape about one to two feet apart in a zig-zag pattern on a carpeted floor and try and jump on two feet from spot to spot. Now jump the pattern on one foot at a time, then the other.
· Can you run in the shape of a figure eight?
· Can you pretend you're sitting in an invisible chair? How long can you sit there?
Do a few of these activities a few nights a week for several weeks before your skiing trip and the kids (and you!) will be ready to take on just about any slope!
]]>Don't jump to conclusions--there could be a million reasons why your neighbor turned your son away from an impromptu play date. Maybe she really was hosting a child who has some kind of condition that prevents her from playing well with others. Maybe the mom only had energy enough to watch two kids instead of three. (Come on, you know what it takes to entertain more kids than you bargained for.) It's possible, too, that your 6-year-old didn't relay the message correctly--6-year-olds aren't the most dependable messengers on the planet--trust me, mine isn't! Or maybe your instincts are right: Perhaps the neighbor didn't want your son over because she doesn't want her child playing with the new black kid.
The point here is that it's never healthy to sit and stew over things like this. While you're off mad somewhere, the people who got you hot and bothered are usually just living their lives, completely unaware that you're upset with them. I've found that being direct with folks, without being overly emotional about it, goes a long way in helping me see where people stand, and certainly letting others get real clear about how I see things, so that we can all move on from there. This, for sure, helps keep my blood pressure down.
If after you talk to your neighbor, you still have a sour taste in your mouth, know this: You can't pick your neighbors, but you can pick your child's friends. Take his hand into yours and introduce yourself to other kid-friendly families in your neighborhood who are happy to play with "all kids." Who knows? Some long-lasting friendships for you and your son might be just a few more doors down.
]]>We don't know why, but "growing pains" typically only occur at night. The theory is that it is due to a child's normal daily activities such as running and jumping. Although the pain often seems to parents to be bone pain, it is actually muscle pain. That's why massage and a little TLC from mommy or daddy often seem to help.
As long as she is not trying to climb out, you can leave her where she is. Most children remain in their crib until 2 or 2-and-a-half years old.
Build excitement--find a book or make up a story to get her ready
Incorporate a "lovey"--use her special blanky or animal from her crib
Go for it--pick a night to start and don't go back
Bedtime routine--keep your previous bedtime routine
Encourage good sleep habits--praise and reward her
Don't forget safety--use a low mattress, a safe bed rail and/or a baby gate at the door
]]>Sorry to hear about your situation and your dad's failing health. Being the primary caregiver for your father, in addition to your own family, has stressed you physically, emotionally and even socially. As a caregiver, you have the obligation to take care of yourself, not just for your own sake, but also because you can't be a good caregiver unless you are healthy in body, mind and spirit.
But do recognize the type of guilt that can be used as your impetus to change something. And you really do need to change something: You are on the road to "caregiver burnout."
Some ideas:
· Seek out a professional to help you obtain additional resources.
· Take a realistic view of your situation. Accept the situations you can't change, and begin changing those that you can.
· Set reasonable limits for yourself on how much you are capable of doing. Don't be afraid to ask for, and accept, help from others.
· Practice wellness behaviors that help maintain your health and well-being, such as regular exercise and meditation.
· Join a support group, or enlist a few close, trusted friends with whom you can share your feelings and discuss your concerns.
Not only do you deserve "me" time, you absolutely need it!
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