
Here's the deal: You had a baby with a teenager, and though you've been forced to grow up and take responsibility for another human being's life, your baby's father doesn't necessarily feel the gravitational pull of having to act like an adult in a grown-up relationship. This is because he's still a teenager.

Yes, having a child is something that should be joyful and celebrated, but the expense of it all--paying for the formula, the diapers, the clothes, the medical bills, the daycare, etc.--can be a bit overwhelming, especially in these hard economic times. Your fiancé is smart to be concerned about how to finance it all, especially if he doesn't feel like he makes enough to do what he probably feels he's charged to do as a father-to-be: Take care of his family. My guess is that he's not so much unhappy about his impending fatherhood as he is worried about how he's going to adequately provide for you and the baby.

I stand in solidarity with you on the whole playful thing. What mom has energy enough to be a midnight seductress to her husband after spending the entire day entertaining, feeding, chauffeuring, and chasing and cleaning up after the kids all day? Honestly, by the time I fall into bed some nights, the tap on the shoulder is about as welcome as a bucket full of ice water being thrown in my face. Still, I'm well aware that my husband, Nick, needs attention, and affection from the woman he loves, just as much as my children need it from their mom.

Don't jump to conclusions--there could be a million reasons why your neighbor turned your son away from an impromptu play date. Maybe she really was hosting a child who has some kind of condition that prevents her from playing well with others. Maybe the mom only had energy enough to watch two kids instead of three. (Come on, you know what it takes to entertain more kids than you bargained for.) It's possible, too, that your 6-year-old didn't relay the message correctly--6-year-olds aren't the most dependable messengers on the planet--trust me, mine isn't! Or maybe your instincts are right: Perhaps the neighbor didn't want your son over because she doesn't want her child playing with the new black kid.

Wow. Just... wow. Let me start by saying that you have every right to be upset with this woman for ambushing you and your friends with the "other mother" introduction. Unless she's got custody of your kids, feeds and provides emotional and financial support for them exclusively, and has had a ceremony in which you and your ex presented her with a crown and a sash that reads "Other Mother" in sparkles and rubies, she had absolutely no right to announce herself to your child's teacher and the class parents this way.

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