
How unfair--and perfectly ridiculous--it is that people make assumptions about others based on something as simple as the way a person's pants hang or the way he styles his hair? As if intelligence can be measured in the inches between a boy's waist and the top of his jeans, or kindness, honesty, and trustworthiness be determined by the length of one's hair. Really, it's quite infuriating to think that in this day and age, people still take it upon themselves to make mass pronouncements about a massive group of people based on something so simplistic as the way they dress.

Sadly--and scarily--your friend's family isn't the only one in this predicament; this mess of an economy has most everyone combing through their bank statements, re-evaluating what's financially feasible and what non-essential items need to get cut. And when it comes down to it, the ability to put food on the table and keep the lights on will trump tennis lessons every time. But kids aren't necessarily going to understand this; all they know is that the friend they looked forward to playing with at practice on Tuesday afternoons isn't coming anymore. And at the end of the day, this is really all you need to address with your child. There's really no need to hold a family summit to explain his friend's family's sketchy money situation. Pouring through the details--many of which I'll have to assume you're not privy to--will only scare and confound your son, and lead to more questions or, worse, confusion that could easily make its way back to the friend and his family. Rather than make an already sticky situation stickier, you'd be best served keeping your explanation about why your son's friend will no longer be coming to tennis lessons as simple as can be: Johnny's mom and dad decided to cut back on tennis lessons so that they can use the money they pay for the lessons on other things.

Kids nowadays look up to their favorite pop stars just as we admired ours back in the day. But in years past our idols' private lives were rarely made public. As parents, we may be reluctant to "go there" with dating and abuse issues, especially with younger children. But you have to address Chris Brown's alleged assault of his girlfriend, Rihanna. These two young people are talented, beautiful, rich and cool - everything most kids aspire to. Tell your children that stars are human, which means they are vulnerable; can make mistakes; get into trouble; and do stupid things. Chris and Rihanna are no exception.

You will have to change your husband's "some guy" status. In other words, you need to acknowledge that you're essentially asking your son to share you with some guy. He's not just "some guy" to you. But to a child, who likely wishes his biological dad was the co-star in his family fantasy, a step-dad is usually unwelcome. And if "some guy" is telling him what to do and making changes to his routines, it's only makes matters worse.

Here's the deal: You had a baby with a teenager, and though you've been forced to grow up and take responsibility for another human being's life, your baby's father doesn't necessarily feel the gravitational pull of having to act like an adult in a grown-up relationship. This is because he's still a teenager.

Yes, having a child is something that should be joyful and celebrated, but the expense of it all--paying for the formula, the diapers, the clothes, the medical bills, the daycare, etc.--can be a bit overwhelming, especially in these hard economic times. Your fiancé is smart to be concerned about how to finance it all, especially if he doesn't feel like he makes enough to do what he probably feels he's charged to do as a father-to-be: Take care of his family. My guess is that he's not so much unhappy about his impending fatherhood as he is worried about how he's going to adequately provide for you and the baby.

I stand in solidarity with you on the whole playful thing. What mom has energy enough to be a midnight seductress to her husband after spending the entire day entertaining, feeding, chauffeuring, and chasing and cleaning up after the kids all day? Honestly, by the time I fall into bed some nights, the tap on the shoulder is about as welcome as a bucket full of ice water being thrown in my face. Still, I'm well aware that my husband, Nick, needs attention, and affection from the woman he loves, just as much as my children need it from their mom.

Don't jump to conclusions--there could be a million reasons why your neighbor turned your son away from an impromptu play date. Maybe she really was hosting a child who has some kind of condition that prevents her from playing well with others. Maybe the mom only had energy enough to watch two kids instead of three. (Come on, you know what it takes to entertain more kids than you bargained for.) It's possible, too, that your 6-year-old didn't relay the message correctly--6-year-olds aren't the most dependable messengers on the planet--trust me, mine isn't! Or maybe your instincts are right: Perhaps the neighbor didn't want your son over because she doesn't want her child playing with the new black kid.

Wow. Just... wow. Let me start by saying that you have every right to be upset with this woman for ambushing you and your friends with the "other mother" introduction. Unless she's got custody of your kids, feeds and provides emotional and financial support for them exclusively, and has had a ceremony in which you and your ex presented her with a crown and a sash that reads "Other Mother" in sparkles and rubies, she had absolutely no right to announce herself to your child's teacher and the class parents this way.

Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section