Momtourage > Need Advice? > Tanya Remer Altmann Archives

SEARCH Q&As

Janine
Sarna-Jones
The Organizer
Bio
View Questions
Eileen
Behan
The NutritionistBio
View Questions
Natalie
Gahrmann
The Life Coach Bio
View Questions
Curt Hinson
The Child Fitness Expert
Bio
View Questions
Tanya Remer
Altmann
The Pediatrician
Bio
View Questions
Andrea Messina
The Practical Mom
Bio
View Questions
Denene Millner
The Real-Talk Mom
Bio
View Questions
Cindy Post Senning
The Etiquette Expert
Bio
View Questions
Marilyn Augustyn
The Behavioral Pediatrician
Bio
View Questions

THE QUESTION :

My 2-year-old doesn't want to eat anything. How can I get her to eat? She only takes about 2-3 bites and she's done.
 

THE ANSWER:

Parents often tell me that their toddler doesn't eat anything, yet most of those toddlers are growing and developing fine. First step is to check with your pediatrician and make sure that your daughter is truly gaining weight and growing appropriately. Here are a few reasons why she may not be eating what you think she should:

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

As a busy mom of three kids, I can't figure out what to feed the baby. He's almost a year old, and he's started solid foods, but I don't want to give him the same thing every day. Are there any easy and simple solid food ideas for dinner and daycare?
 

THE ANSWER:

Unlike adults, children often don't tire of eating the same thing every day. As long as it is healthy and he eats it, I wouldn't worry too much about repetition. When he stops eating it, then it's time to get creative or try new items.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My daughter is about to turn one, and she has quit eating baby food. If it's mushy, she won't touch it. She wants to eat what we eat. What types of food can I give her? I do give her small amounts of what we eat, but I know she can't have everything we do. She only has two teeth, but manages to chew it up just fine.
 

THE ANSWER:

She CAN have almost everything you eat, as long as it's cut into small pieces. Infants actually learn to eat by mashing food with their gums, so even toddlers who don't get their first tooth until they're a year old do fine with soft pieces of grown-up food. I find that one-year-olds love eating small pieces of steamed veggies (such as carrots and sweet potato), whole grains (pasta, cereal and bread) and chicken. Take whatever you eat, cook it a bit more if needed or mash it slightly so it's soft, cut it into small pieces and serve it as finger food. Thick yogurt works well when it comes to learning to use a spoon, and most infants and toddlers love it.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

Should I be concerned about my 14-month-old? She wants to eat non-stop. She'll stand in the kitchen and cry for more food -- even if she just ate -- and if we give her a snack she just keeps wanting more! I don't know what to do. I don't think it's healthy for her to eat all day long. Could she really be hungry, or could something else be wrong?
 

THE ANSWER:

Around this age, parents either tell me that their child won't eat anything, or that they eat all day long, so yes, it is very common. Your daughter may be going through a growth spurt and therefore is truly hungry.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 6-year-old daughter is having a problem with a boy at school. It started with him calling her "sexy lady," then escalated to him touching her in her private area. Then she told me he exposed himself to her. I'm proud that she came to me, and I told her to always let a teacher or another responsible adult know when someone makes her uncomfortable. I have spoken with the school and they said they would handle the problem, but so far, it just seems like it's escalating. What else can I do?
 

THE ANSWER:

How old is that boy at school? Obviously his behavior is inappropriate at any age, but it may need to be handled differently if he is younger or older.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

How can I help change my daughter's negative attitude towards school? She gives up on assignments and homework without even trying. I know she can do the work, but she just doesn't see it.
 

THE ANSWER:

It sounds like your daughter may need some encouragement and reassurance. Try sitting with her and helping her along the way. If an assignment is long, break it into smaller, more manageable sections so she can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

Our families live on the other side of the country, and we'd really like to fly home for Christmas. My baby is due in October. Will it be too soon to fly with a newborn? Are there any health or safety issues we should be thinking about?
 

THE ANSWER:

It's perfectly fine to take your new baby home for the holidays. The danger isn't in the airplane itself, but the potential contact with sick individuals. If possible, wait until she is 6-to 8-weeks old and has received her first set of vaccinations--to protect against whooping cough, pneumococcal and Hib meningitis and rotavirus (a vomiting and diarrhea illness).

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My son will be entering middle school this fall. I want to find some books or other resources to help with the transition. He's a smart kid, but a little more sensitive and naive than most boys. He has experienced some bullying this year, and has lost some friends, so I'd like him to make a fresh start in middle school. I've found several books for girls, but nothing to help boys with this.
 

THE ANSWER:

Starting middle school can be an exciting time filled with many challenges, including changing classrooms, meeting new teachers and making new friends. To help ease the transition for your son, take a tour of the school ahead of time and walk to each of his classes if you know where they are.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My two-year-old has always been a good sleeper, usually going down at 7:30 p.m. and sleeping until 7 a.m. Recently, he's been waking up every two hours screaming. He doesn't have a fever or any signs of a cold or flu, but he is drooling up a storm and seems like he's in pain. When I ask him where it hurts, he always points to his mouth. Would something as simple as a new tooth cause this much stress? He seems so upset. He's not complaining during the day, so I'm baffled.
 

THE ANSWER:

Since you have a history of a consistent bedtime routine and your toddler previously slept well, it does sound like something is causing him discomfort and disrupting his night. He's at the right age for teething and some toddlers do experience quite a bit of pain as teeth poke their way through sensitive gums...ouch!

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My parents babysit my two-year-old four days a week. They're with him most of the day, and now he seems to be more attached to his grandmother than he is to me. I'm happy that he is happy and well-cared for, but I feel heartbroken at times. He has even gone so far as to kick me or push me away when I go to pick him up. How can I deal with this?
 

THE ANSWER:

You are lucky to have family members taking care of your son. I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally when he chooses them over you.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 4-month-old baby cries every time I leave the house. My husband and dad can't watch her at all because she screams for hours while I'm away. Is it possible that she's in a mommy-only phase, even though she's so young? What can I do to help her?
 

THE ANSWER:

Of course she loves her mommy, but at this age it may be more of the routine, or the way that you hold and sooth her that she's attached to. Help your husband and dad experiment with different soothing methods while you are near that they can then use when you are out.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I'm nursing my 3-month-old son and want to switch to a bottle soon so I can go back to work. I don't want to pump, so I've decided to feed him formula once my milk runs out. What can I expect during this transition, and what can I do to make it easier on both of us?
 

THE ANSWER:

If you haven't yet given him a bottle, I would recommend introducing a bottle of breast milk or formula as soon as possible so he can get used to drinking from a bottle.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 8-year-old is terrified of thunder. He does have some learning disabilities that are compounded by behavior issues, which makes it even harder to get him to understand that it's not going to hurt him. Is there anything I can do to help with this fear? It's crippling at times, to the point that he hides out in the bathroom until the storm has passed. No force on earth can remove him from that room.
 

THE ANSWER:

Thunder can be scary for some children. If your son is oversensitive to loud noises in general, you may want to buy earmuffs to wear during a loud storm. Get two pairs so you can wear one too.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My son is almost 14-months old. I switched him to Vitamin D milk when he turned 1, and for the first few weeks, I mixed the milk with his formula. Now that he's on milk alone, he doesn't seem to have regular bowel movements. He's always constipated, and I have to give him a laxative mixed in with his milk or juice. I give him juice daily but that doesn't seem to improve anything. He's pretty active, although he doesn't walk yet. Is there anything else we can do? I don't like giving him laxatives every day.
 

THE ANSWER:

Constipation is common in toddlers and can usually be corrected with some simple, healthy dietary changes. So before you take him off milk, take a look at everything your son eats and drinks.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

Our 11-year-old daughter has played soccer since she was five and was always one of the best girls on her team. Recently, she's begun to break into tears during games. A few years ago, she would cry when she was too hot, frustrated or tired, but now it happens at every game. It's embarrassing for her. We've tried to teach her relaxation and breathing techniques, but it doesn't help. We fear that if we take her out, it will be damaging to her. If we leave her in, that will be bad, too. We've suggested seeing a counselor, but she is mortified by the thought of being seen as crazy. I think she would like to play, but doesn't know how to control her emotions. How can we help her?
 

THE ANSWER:

Sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter. Let her know that it's her choice whether or not she wants to play soccer, and that you'll love and support her whether or not she plays.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 20-month-old son began slapping and hitting a few weeks ago. We've given him time-outs, but it's not working. Whenever I try to explain why he was given a time-out, he slaps me again. He hits out of anger. We're expecting another child in August, and I'm really concerned. Any advice on how to curb this behavior?
 

THE ANSWER:

Your 20-month-old doesn't intend to hurt you. It's just his way of expressing himself, but that doesn't mean it's okay. You do need to teach him how to appropriately touch and that hitting is not acceptable. Model the words and behavior that you'd like him to copy. Say, "Gentle, make nice to Mommy," as you softly run his hand down your arm. When he does hit, say "No" firmly. Put him down and then redirect his attention.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I have a 10-month-old, and she wakes up at 6:30 every morning, extremely active and ready to crawl around and play. I have a very hard time going to bed at the same time she does, and I don't get much sleep. When she wakes up early, I feel automatically angry and impatient. I've tried to put her in her playpen so I can lie back down, but she'll scream for me until I take her out of it. I feel like I'm not being fair to her, but I also feel like I'm having the life sucked out of me at the same time. Please help.
 

THE ANSWER:

I'm sorry you have an early riser, and I know it's exhausting, but 6:30 is when some children wake up. While you can try black-out curtains, an earlier or later bedtime, and even ignoring the crying, it may not make much difference. She's had a full night of sleep and now it is morning and that means playtime! As my son says, "The world is bright. Get up!"

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 8-month-old is fussy all the time. He won't play with any of his toys, he hates his bouncy chair and won't let me put him in his playpen. As soon as I pick him up, he's fine, but I can't hold him all the time. I'm exhausted and confused and have no family or friends in the area. He fights everything, including baths and diaper changes. How can I help him--and myself?
 

THE ANSWER:

First, if he hasn't seen his pediatrician lately, consider going in for a visit just to make sure he is growing and developing well, and that nothing is causing him discomfort (like an ear infection). Next, you need and deserve a break ASAP, so that you don't end up even more frustrated and exhausted. Enlist your spouse, partner or get a babysitter or mommy-helper so you can have some quiet time to do whatever will help you feel better.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 6-year-old son has been sleepwalking, and it scares me. Will he grow out of this? Also, does it mean that he's stressed or upset? He has no recollection of it the next morning. What can I do to help him?
 

THE ANSWER:

Sleepwalking is common, especially in kids ages 4 to 8. We don't know what causes sleepwalking, but it does tend to run in families.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 16-month-old son just started attending a big daycare center. I expected him to get sick from the other kids, but he came home on his first day with a stuffy nose that has transformed into diarrhea and vomiting. How can I protect him from getting sick like this all the time?
 

THE ANSWER:

Healthy children can catch around 10 infections a year--almost one a month! This is especially true when they are in daycare. During the summer months kids are mostly well, but during the winter, they may get sick every other week. Why? Because children constantly touch things and viruses can live on toys and surfaces for hours.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

We have a new baby at home, we moved last month, and I think all the changes are taking a toll on my older child. She has been toilet-trained since before she was 2-years-old, but lately she's been having lots of accidents. She doesn't go to the bathroom when she needs to, constantly waiting until it's too late. Our doctor recommended using pull-ups but my daughter was really sad about it, so I decided to stop. What can I do to help her?
 

THE ANSWER:

A new baby and a new house -- wow. Your daughter's life was recently turned upside-down. It's not surprising that she's having accidents. That's a normal reaction at this age.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My stepdaughter just had her 11th birthday and wants to wear makeup every day. After visits with her mother, she comes home with lots of old cosmetics and perfume, but nothing that I would consider healthy for a young girl's skin. She wears twice as much makeup as I wear -- and, no matter how much I nag her, she doesn't remove it properly at the end of the day. What can I do?
 

THE ANSWER:

When young girls first start wearing makeup, they usually wear too much. She's lucky to have you to guide her. Explain to her that beauty comes from within and that too much make up can actually distract from her natural beauty. At age 11, lip-gloss and a tiny bit of eye shadow should suffice.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I have an 11-year-old son with severe ADHD. He struggles in school and with almost everything. We also have a 9-year-old son who excels in almost everything he does. He gets good grades and has a ton of friends. Our 11-year-old sees this and thinks that there is something wrong with him. How do we give the special attention that our ADHD child needs without making our 9-year-old feel like his issues aren't important to us? Likewise, how do we boost our 11-year-old's self esteem without making him feel like his brother is better than him?
 

THE ANSWER:

Every child is unique and different in his or her own way. It can be challenging for a family when there are two extremes in the house. It's important to help your older son feel special in his own way and boost his confidence in things he does well. Perhaps he runs fast. Maybe he's a real comedian. Praise character and other accomplishments instead of grades. Create a task or a situation in which you know he will excel and then congratulate him.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My daughter is 9 and has breast buds that occasionally cause some discomfort. I've talked to her about her changing body, but some say I should let her have a few moments alone with our pediatrician to ask her own questions. Is this appropriate at her age?
 

THE ANSWER:

Not only is it appropriate, it's a good routine to start. However, she might not have much to say at age 9, which is fine.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

Should I slow my child's vaccine schedule a bit? I would never risk not vaccinating at all, but the links to autism scare me. My doctor insists there is no longer thimerisol in any of the shots, but I can't help but worry.
 

THE ANSWER:

First, let me reassure you that medical research has never shown any link between vaccines and autism. There is also no evidence that delaying vaccines has any potential benefit over giving vaccines according to the recommended schedule -- the CDC schedule that scientists spent years developing and studying. We do know, however, that delaying vaccines may put your infant at risk for catching infections that cause serious disease and death. In the last 10 years, I have seen two forms of childhood meningitis (a serious infection around the brain and spinal cord) virtually disappear, thanks to vaccines. And, we have seen how quickly diseases can make a comeback when small groups decide not to protect their children -- Measles and Hib meningitis outbreaks occurred recently in our country, causing illness and death in young children.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I know it's not a good idea to put my baby in a used car seat or crib. But now I'm concerned about the lead levels in hand-me-down toys. What should I do with the great stuff I've received?
 

THE ANSWER:

Say thank you, and then decide if you should keep or toss the items. Lead may be found in paint on toys as well as in flexible plastics.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I'm the mom of 10-month-old twins and I am thoroughly confused about the chemicals in plastic toys and bottles. How can I figure out what's safe and what's not?
 

THE ANSWER:

Your 10-month-olds are still at an age where they enjoy putting things in their mouths. It's part of being an infant and hard to prevent. So, how do you know which items are safe to suck and which aren't? That's the million-dollar question that scientists and environmentalists are trying to figure out.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

Is it too late for my 10-year-old to get a flu shot? My youngest, who is two-years-old, has gotten one. I thought my older son would be fine without it. But I worry about new strains. What to do?
 

THE ANSWER:

It's a bit late to get a flu vaccine this year, but I am still seeing a few cases every day in my practice. Yearly flu vaccines are recommended for everyone 6 months of age and older, which includes your 10-year-old and you as well. For next flu season, the most ideal time to get the flu vaccine and protect your family from catching the flu is in the fall or early winter--before the flu hits.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 3-year-old almost always has a runny nose. This season is no different, but she also has a stubborn cough. She doesn't have a temperature and the symptoms don't really stop her from playing or going to school. My doctor says it's "just a virus." Should I be worried?
 
THE ANSWER:

Lots of children spend a good portion of their toddler and preschool years with mucus running out of their noses. And many kids' coughs are less serious than they sound. While it's of little relief for parents to hear, both result from common colds and usually will go away by themselves.


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

How can I help my 8-year-old son with his sore tummy? A sensitive stomach does run in the family. I was a worrier as a kid and I remember lots of tummy aches. I've tried talking to my son about how he's feeling, but he says he's not worried. Our general practitioner says sore stomachs are very common in children. Anything I can do?
 
THE ANSWER:

Stomachaches are very common at this age. But keeping a diary can often help you discover what is causing or contributing to your child's belly soreness. Write down everything he eats and drinks; when he goes to the bathroom; when he has the pain; and what is going on at the time of the pain.


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 1-year-old son keeps throwing up every time he drinks whole milk, even lactose-free whole milk, cheese and yogurt. He gets a red rash whenever he eats dairy. I'm confused because he has always been breast fed, so I'm not sure what the problem is with whole milk. Please help.
 
THE ANSWER:

It sounds like your son may have an allergy to milk and dairy products, something that can develop at any age. Some children who are truly allergic to milk are not affected by mom's breast milk. Signs of a milk allergy are the appearance of a rash, wheezing or trouble breathing, vomiting or diarrhea after ingesting milk or milk-based products.


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I have a two-and-a-half-year-old and a newborn. My first child did not sleep through the night until she was a year old, and now I feel my newborn is heading in that direction. Do you have any advice on how to get my newborn to sleep better? I have tried swaddling and he does not like it at all.
 
THE ANSWER:

Your newborn still needs to feed when he wakes up every 3 to 4 hours at night. That said, good sleep habits are best formed at a young age, and there are some things you can do now to make it easier for your little one to begin sleeping through the night in a few months:


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My daughter is 29 months old. For the past month, she has woken up every night crying and grabbing her legs. We pick her up, rub her legs for an hour, then she finally goes back to sleep. I am thinking it's a growing spurt and her legs really are hurting, but why is this only happening at night?
 
THE ANSWER:

We don't know why, but "growing pains" typically only occur at night. The theory is that it is due to a child's normal daily activities such as running and jumping. Although the pain often seems to parents to be bone pain, it is actually muscle pain. That's why massage and a little TLC from mommy or daddy often seem to help.


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 21-month-old loves her crib. She has never tried to climb out or anything. But should she be in a toddler bed by now?
 
THE ANSWER:

As long as she is not trying to climb out, you can leave her where she is. Most children remain in their crib until 2 or 2-and-a-half years old.


More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I think my 13-year-old daughter is emailing people she’s met on Web sites. I’m concerned. Should I do something about it?
 
THE ANSWER:

Definitely. I’m very concerned if you’re letting your daughter email people she hasn’t met. After all, you wouldn’t let her get in the car with someone you’ve never met before.

It’s true that kids this age need some privacy; for example, while getting dressed or while reading a book. But just as you wouldn’t let her spend time with people that you don’t know, you shouldn’t let her do this on the Internet, either. There are dangerous things she can see online and very dangerous people such as child predators.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I think my 9-year-old son is a bully at school. My husband isn’t worried about it, but I am. The school hasn’t complained, but last week a parent called me up about it. Should I worry?
 
THE ANSWER:

Yes, this should concern you. Talk to the school and see what the teacher has to say.

If you find out it’s true, talk to your son. A 9-year-old should be able to understand the difference between right and wrong, so talk to him about why he is acting this way. Ask him how he would feel if a friend bullied him. It’s important to let him know that along with such actions come consequences. At this age, a consequence might be a withdrawal of privileges such as watching television, playing video games, playing with friends or other activities.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 3-year-old is always getting ear infections, but his doctor doesn’t always prescribe antibiotics. How can I stop the pain?
 
THE ANSWER:

Many ear infections will improve on their own without antibiotics. Antibiotics are used to treat bacterial infections, not viral infections. You can’t always tell if the infection is viral or bacterial without sticking a needle in and taking fluid out. We don’t do this very often anymore, but years ago, it was done and that's how we discovered that most infections children get are viral. 

 

Many parents today do understand that using antibiotics when they’re not needed can cause further problems. Some parents tell me that they don't want an antibiotic it's absolutely necessary, while others request on for every little cough and cold. Have an open conversation with your pediatrician about your child's illness and whether or not treatment is indicated. 

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

My 8-year-old is demanding a cell phone. Despite my thinking that she’s too young for a social life, I’ve heard that too much cell phone exposure can lead to brain cancer. Is this true?
 
THE ANSWER:

There is some recent research that may connect cell phone use during the younger years with increased risk of brain cancer later on. We don’t have all the answers, but based on what we know, limiting your child’s exposure is important.

 

But the real question is: Why does an 8-year-old need a cell phone? It opens a lot of doors to potentially dangerous things. When I was growing up, there was a phone in the middle of the house, and if I was talking to a friend, I knew that my parents could hear even though I tried to talk really quietly.  Once you give your child a cell phone, he or she can text anyone or talk anytime when you're not around.  You have no way to control it who she communicates with, or who communicates with her. A child in second gradestill needs a parent to be involved in their life, place limits and keep them safe. An adult should drop him off at school and pick him up. I can’t really think of a situation where a child at this age would need a cell phone.

More


Tanya Remer Altmann
THE QUESTION :

I’ve been breastfeeding my baby -- she’s almost 4 months old now -- and I want to start her on solids. However, eczema runs in my family and I’ve heard that food allergies can cause it. Is there any way I can feed her so she won’t get eczema?
 
THE ANSWER:

By breastfeeding, you’re already doing the very best thing you can do to prevent allergies. There’s evidence that breastfeeding for at least four months may prevent or delay eczema.

 

We used to think that holding off on feeding a baby certain foods would delay the onset of food allergies. Earlier this year, however, the American Academy of Pediatrics, after evaluation of all the research, released a statement that basically says that doing so may not decrease the chance of a child becoming allergic later on. 

More


Tanya Remer Altmann

 
ARCHIVES
RSS
 
FEATURED MOM MOMENTS

Name inspiration comes when you least expect it.

She's not a little baby anymore.

Plastic bag disposal is easy and free!

ADVICE DIRECTORY
Behavior
Title

Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section | Expert Section