Sherry Davey
I had lunch with a group of old college buddies today. Some of us chose to raise our children in urban environments while other parents opted for the burbs. Now I've always thought there are many benefits to both: urban centers are great for diversity, exposing children to culture, museums, smelly street freaks you know all that great stuff associated with cities; while there's nothing like good 'ole fresh air, green grass, climbing trees, competing with supposedly friendlier people over sh*t no one really needs nor can afford to develop a child's imagination and body.
In a nutshell, I'm saying there are benefits to both. I've never been one of those people who says I'd choose the city over the country for my child or vice versa. I'm generally not that black and white about anything. It's just worked out this way for us career wise: both my husband and I work in NYC. It's definitely not cheaper to live in the suburbs - let's just dispel that myth. When all the costs are figured in like commuting and taxes even the New York Times says home ownership costs about the same in the suburbs as it does in New York City.
We just tend to be city dwellers. We see the benefits to living in Brooklyn on a daily basis but we love the ease of suburban living....at least it appears to be easier....the grass is always greener because heck we don't even have grass! If we could just get a Dairy Barn in Brooklyn I swear all our problems would be over: to not have to get out of the car; or circle for hours looking for a parking spot; or wait while some mental patient tries to haggle over the price; just to get a quart of organic milk would be incredible.
However, the conversation became quite heated at the table when the topic came up. In fact, some of the parents even got a little self righteous dare I say judgemental when it came to it. I couldn't help thinking they were over compensating just a little. I tried to smoothe it all over with a few well placed jokes, that's my job people. I'm a comic. But those jokes were met head on with comments like, "You see Sherry, that's just your problem, you don't take raising children seriously." To which I replied, "I used to take a lot of drugs when we were in university but I can't do that anymore because I'm a serious mom. And now I seriously don't know how I'm going to get through the rest of this lunch without them. So adieu old friends."
Honestly, there's no right or wrong when it comes to this topic for me but maybe you feel differently. Which do you prefer for your children: the country or the city? Was your choice a conscious decision or did it just work out that way? Is there a positive or downside to where you are?
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I think in the end, it's better for children to just be with their parents wherever they are. Cities are great but so are the suburbs. Just spend time with your children wherever you live.
you just can't simplify it like that - there are some cities that are better than some suburbs, and vice versa. parents have to weigh the school systems, crime rates and quality of life in both environments. we consciously chose to remain in the city, but Atlanta has a lot of suburban-type neighborhoods within the city, so it was a nice option for us to have. we have a lawn, lots of local parks AND all the benefits of the city. Lucky us!
I prefer being in the suburbs. I was raised in the suburbs myself and I remember the fun of going for bike rides down neighborhood streets, playing in parks, etc. Not that the suburbs don't have some city elements to them (I'm in the Phoenix area) and I can get to the "urban" part of town easily if we want to go to a museum or something. In general I am more relaxed in the suburbs, I think that helps me be a better mommy. To each his own, though! I could not & would not judge anyone's choice - I have friends who live in downtown Phoenix with children and their kids are doing great as well.
I grew up in Buffalo, NY. I was exposed to alot alright, schools that fell way below NY standards, poverty stricken neighborhoods, drugs (yeah I know they are everywhere, but crack dealers are not marketing to the children on the way to school where I live now), crime (again it happens every where but in Buffalo it was a daily sight to see the police pull up to the high school for a vicious fight that ended in blood being spewed into the hallway. Once I had my first daughter I moved to the country, I have never in the 7 years I have lived here seen a cop car go to any of our neighbors houses. Never have the cops been called to her school. And her schools is among the top 10% in the state. I wouldn't trade it for anything. Last years statistics speak for themselves Buffalo Public Schools - 65% of the students CANNOT read at grade level. I know I made the right choice for my kids. I have lived in the city all my life and wouldn't go back if you paid me.
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I grew up a small town, and I recently moved to the city, but I know that once I have kids, it's back out to the country. I just like the idea of them being able to have room to run around outside. A swing set and maybe a pool to keep them busy, and not running around the house driving me nuts.
I grew up in the burbs. It was OK until about the teenage years when I required more than what the cul-de-sac could provide. Luckily I could walk a mile to the bus line that went into the small city nearby.
I just talked to James Howard Kunstler about this topic in a 15 minute podcast interview. Kunstler wrote "The Geography of Nowhere," a landmark book about the disastrous American landscape.
KunstlerCast #10: Children of the Burbs
Is raising children in suburbia a form of child abuse? What happens to developing people when public space is the berm between the Wal-Mart and the K-Mart? When school looks like a maximum security "facility"? When parents are chauffeurs? James Howard Kunstler addresses these topics and speaks of his own experiences growing up in the suburbs of Long Island and in Manhattan.
Click to start playing:
KunstlerCast_10.mp3
I don't have any children but I know raising them in the burbs is better than the cities. I should know, my parents raised me in the suburbs and I turned out better than most of the neurotic New Yorkers I see on TV.
How could you even ask such a silly question. You should have your head examined. Everyone knows it's better to raise kids in the burbs: the city is a decadent, dirty, disgusting place full of diversity and other failed social experiments. The schools are better in the burbs as well, everyone knows it and you can ride your bike safely without any drivebys.
People who raise their kids in the city just don't know better or are just plain selfish.
Ignorance is bliss.
Melissa in the midwest