Sherry Davey
I was extremely proud of Lily this weekend....I'm proud of her everyday but this past Sunday she demonstrated a level of confidence and self assurance that I simply did not possess at age 5. I grew up in the 70s. Our parents were and still are completely different than the parents of today. Let's just say our parents could have used a little sensitivity training. My mother definitely missed that boat.
I know my mother loved and still loves me but she has difficulty showing it and saying it. I'm totally fine with it believe me, I got over it a long, long time ago. She thinks she's being helpful when she puts us down. She definitely made me into the comic that I am today. She actually believes her constant comments about my weight (for almost 10 years) will inspire me to lose it. Comments like: "Maybe you should just use a shovel."; "You shop at Dress Barn because you're as big as cow." And like a true comic she doesn't work without an audience, these comments are always in front of groups of people, family, in public places etc..... However, her comments did not inspire me to join Weight Watchers and lose 20 pounds. That I did all on my own recently. A few positive words from her once in a while would be more helpful but that's not going to happen. Unfortunately, she can't even do that for herself forget others.
Lily, like her dad, has a nice tush. It's lovely and round quite a prominent feature. On Sunday, in front of all Lily's cousins, my mother made this comment, "Get the bigger towel for Lily because she has such a big bum." This may sound harmless to you but it's not the first time my mother has lobbed a put down (regarding weight) Lily's way and Lily is only 5! Welcome to dysfunction junction. The indoctrination starts early around here. I don't let mum get away with it though. Believe me, she put me through this nonsense when I was growing up I'll be damned if she does it to Lily too. Not on my watch.
I was just about to make her apologize for the remark when Lily chimed in with this jewel, "Nanny, if you can't be nice to me I'm not going to visit you anymore."
My mother's stunned, self righteous response was this, "Lily I'm just teasing you."
Here's where my pride barometer hit fever pitch: Lily's response, "Nanny, if you can't be nice to me I'm not going to visit you anymore." She simply repeated herself and stood her ground. She wasn't rude she was just firm. She stood there with her arms folded and didn't blink once. [My husband and I must be doing something right! Thank god, some validation!]
Then, my niece chimed in with, "Yeah, if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."
OMG! You go girls!!!!
My sister and I like so many other millions of mothers today always try to instill in our daughters a sense of pride, security, self esteem and sensitivity to others. Our daughters today are simply not going to stand for the constant psychological bludgeoning that we did. Their confidence is awe inspiring. Way to go girls.
3 Comments
Leave a comment
I agree
Melanie Richardson
8931 Dalton Lane
Soddy Daisy, TN 37379
Can you improve your child’s self image for $15.90? YES YOU CAN. And here’s how in two easy steps:
Step 1: Get the two session video “Programming Your Own Self Image” and study it for yourself. (You cannot teach what you do not know. You cannot lead where you do not go!)
Download this 26 min. video for $9.95.
Step 2: Get the companion workbook “Parent’s Guide To Teaching Students To Program Their Own Self Images”—a step-by-step all the materials you need (including Teaching Tests and Discussion Topics) to create this “Joint Study Project For Parent and Student.”
Download this 22 pp. Parent’s Guide for $5.95.
Get both resources from Eugene Walton’s Storefront at:
http://stores.lulu.com/dreugenewalton
Hello.
:) reflects the couple's low-key approach to their royal connections.
Bye.