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When I was 12 years old, my mother, younger sister and I briefly lived with my grandparents. I remember it working pretty well; my grandmother had looked after my sister and I regularly since we were born anyway. This was just what you might call a convenient consolidation of resources.
For my mom, though, I'm not sure the transition was so easy. I remember one morning when my mother was dressed and ready to leave for work. She had one foot out the door, briefcase in hand, when my grandmother poked her head out from the other room and said, "Oh. Are you really going to wear that?" The answer, as my mother will tell you to this day (in rather colorful terms), was yes.
Other classic fashion-related queries from my grandmother--all of them dating back to those perilous months--include, "Oh. Don't you need a necklace with that?" and, "Oh. Where's your hat?"
My grandmother, it turns out, is the master of questions that have no possible correct answers. The framing of the question implies that you've already got it wrong and that yes, you do need a necklace and that she already knows which one from your jewelry box would look nice. My sister and I were never subject to these same Q&A sessions (although I do recall a heated discussion or two over hats), thanks to the simple law that grandkids are off the hook for almost everything.
I couldn't help but think about our, erm, cozy family situation when I read that Marian Robinson, Michelle Obama's 71-year-old mother, will be joining her daughter, newly-elected son-in-law, and grandkids Malia and Sasha at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue come Inauguration Day. It's well known that Robinson played a major role in the Obamas' home life during the Presidential campaign, helping Malia and Sasha maintain a sense of normalcy while their parents pursued a breakneck schedule. Barack Obama has even said that his run for president wouldn't have been feasible without Robinson's help.
As for Robinson herself, much has been made of her reluctance to leave her Chicago home for the White House, but she's been crystal clear about her role in her grandchildren's lives. "If somebody's going to be with these kids other than their parents," she told the Boston Globe in March, "It better be me."
For so many families--mine included--grandparents are the secret ingredient that makes everything work. They allow mom to get to work on time. They make sure lunches get packed. They deliver kids to ballet and soccer practice. But more than that, they're a comfort, and sometimes, a co-conspirator.
Robinson has said that she allows Malia and Sasha Obama to break Michelle's strict rules about all-organic foods and limited TV time. Not only did my own grandmother never hassle my sister and I about our outfits, she also danced with us in the living room, flew kites with us in a field behind the house, and let us trace enormous shapes with our fingers in her new carpet. These are things, I am told by a reliable source, that would simply not have been allowed in a previous generation. Once again, rules are rules. Until there are grandkids.
You have to wonder how Michelle Obama deals when her mother blatantly disregards the family rules, and if Robinson will continue to do so when she's living in the White House. Or maybe you don't. Maybe that's the magical (and well-deserved) privilege that comes along with being a grandparent. And maybe it's OK if, on her way out to the Rose Garden, Michelle gets a pointed question about whether she's wearing a hat.
Laura Motta
Producer, Momtourage
18 Comments
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Thanks for this story, I love it! Michelle's mother reminds me of my mom with my own kids when they were young.
What a great story. A reminder of my own childhood and visits with my grandmother, who is so very missed. It makes me excited to be a grandmother myself someday.
This is such a great story, reminds me of my family back in the province. No, it's not because my grandparents have lived with us. Neither it is because we have lived at any our grandparents' house. I have spent my childhood days with my parents and my siblings. Weekends, though, were time for seeing grandparents who would come over to our house with hot siopao or freshly-baked cupcakes. If they could not make it, then it was our time to drive to their place and spend the day with them. I have a strong appreciation for these people, grandparents, because they really pamper us, grandchildren.
A heart-warming story indeed. I'm reminded of my own childhood years; those were glorious! Okay I stayed with my parents and sibblings, but we would get regular visits from our grandparents--nothing could beat that feeling when they came into the house on Friday evening. All the goodies, and the endless stories over milo/nesquick and cakes, nothing came close to that!! But wait a minute; Christmas holidays were the best because the entire family would gather together; grandparents from both sides, aunts, cousins, the whole lot!!! And being my maternal grandmother's favourite, it was bonus points for me! Such great memories with those dearly-missed souls; my grandparents.
Love this story for 2 reasons. One, because I grew up with my grandmother in North Carolina for much of my youth and two, because I am a grand mother (G-Ma) and also have 2 grand daughters. I love being a G-Ma. It is an honor. I am so happy that the Obama girls will have their grand mother, the First Granny, with them.
This was a great story. Although I was not blessed with knowing my grandparents, I have through the years been "given" grandparents by my friends, and have enjoyed some of the fun they all took for granted.
Now, I am about to become a grandma for the first time, and it is awesome!! We can hardly wait for our sweet blessing to arrive, and have already been assured that grandmas is the ONLY available babysitter! Woohoo!
Now this is a PERFECT example of family values! Congrats!!!
So, that's taking advantage of their position. Why should our taxes pay for her grandma to live in the Whitehouse? Of course, this is par for the course for these kind of trash.
All the other Presidents bought their Nanny with them. These children are lucky because their Nanny is their real grandmother. Lighten up. Life is to short to hate and what does that teach your children.
Wonderful!
I am a grandma and I would not pass up the chance to live in the White House. Would you? Even better than that I would be will my grandchildren.
to Theresa - wow, such class and respect you exhibit. Whether you voted for the President or not, your comments are hateful. i guess it would be ok with you to pay for a nanny? A White house babysitter? Hired help? The fact is there are children in the white house - just like their have been for decades. Democratic kids, republican kids. The fact that Mrs. Robinson has put her own life second to taking care of her grandchildren is fantastic. If you can't be respectful, at least try to show a little class.
sorry Theresa, my comments were meant to address Yvonne, not you. Sorry!
It's awesome these kids have a chance to have someone they love and is so familiar with them as they undergo this huge upheaval in their lives. Good on Grandma, I say!!
I laughed at your Mum's recollections of the outfit comments - my grandmother was lots of fun with us too, and at her funeral, my recollections of her 'zany groovy' character were wondered at by those who knew her earlier in her life. I treasure those recollections like they are gold. I hope these kids are allowed to have the same kind of childhood memoies as this. And I hope this Nanna is easier on her daughters' outfit choices than yours!
:-)
BB
Why are Yvonne Ricks' comments allowed to remain on this board? Such hateful and dare I say racist comments do not deserve to see the light for so long. Shameful comments and equally shameful that those comments are allowed to still pollute this wonderful site.
I have to agree with Erinn, even if I do believe in our freedom of speech. We (the American People) have shown our United effort to support Change in these United States of America, lets begin with our own hearts to understand that it takes time for Change, organically and I think our First Family understands that in a way that we can follow their tolerant example. Keep up the positive feedback. As a grandmother I can't think of a greater influence in their lives at this time of their life and thank God she has this opportunity, wherever they are. I don't mind footing the bill on this one!
What a great story. I remember both my grandmothers well and have great memories of both of them, especially my paternal grandmother who I would get to stay the night with on weekends, sleeping outside in a tent made by my grandfather. They slept in a swing type king sized bed that he made and she made the mattresses for. I slept in a cot at the foot of their bed and their dog slept on my feet. What memories.
Mrs. Robinson will be fine in the White House with her beautiful grandchildren.
wow, those comments are great, but i think we cannot condemn the side at which 'Yvonne Ricks' views the whole issue. though it is tax money as she has said it, but the future of the kids matters most. because it's far better to be with their grandma (whom l belive would handle them good) than an 'external nanny'.