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When I first heard about My Little Red Book, I was sort of grossed out. And intrigued. And, you know what? Grossed out. And intrigued!
And then I actually got the book.
Compiled by 18-year-old Rachel Kauder Nalebuff, the collection focuses on a topic that's still, after all these centuries, mostly taboo. Which is amazing because it affects, you know, about half the global population. It's a book about periods. Not like the one at the end of this sentence, but the one that's making you feel kind of bloated right now. (Unless you're pregnant. In which case, it's just the baby.)
The collection includes essays--like an updated version of Gloria Steinem's classic, "If Men Could Menstruate"--a poem or two and a series of text messages from tweens. The effect is distinctly... not gross. In fact, it feels pretty empowering. It also feels pretty familiar; you will see yourself--your panic, pride and fear--in at least one of these stories. As a result, it even made me think about my own "first period" story and my comfort level in telling it--now.
My mother never told me her story, and I wonder if it would have made me feel less alone or embarrassed. Because at 11 years old, what I felt about everything--my very existence--was embarrassed. Welcome to adolescence.
In that light, My Little Red Book might just be the thing for the 11-year-old (or 9-year-old, or 13-year-old) in your life. It's even helped me tell you the following without blushing.
I got my first period in a three-room cabin in the middle of the New Hampshire woods while vacationing with my grandparents at the height of summer. My mother was 50 miles away, and wasn't scheduled to arrive for days, so I did what any normal 11-year-old girl would do. I didn't tell anyone. (See above, RE: embarrassment.) She arrived to find me somewhat bewildered and completely out of underwear.
After a quick scramble for supplies and a massive amount of hand-washing (Some three-room cabins in the middle of the woods, it turns out, don't have a Whirlpool.), I was fine. But I remember some of the strange and conflicting adult commentary that day. "You're so young," they said. "You should have told someone." But the most awful (and yes, embarrassing!) comment, came from my father, who thought I was out of earshot: "Not bad for 11 years old."
I am a grown woman and I still have no idea what that means.
Who knew that a little blood could throw so many grown-ups off their bearings?
What about you? Have you told your girls about your own first period experience? Would you feel comfortable doing so, and do you think it would help them?
Laura Motta
Producer, Momtourage
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Approximately six weeks after my mother's beloved mother had died quite suddenly, hemmorhaging after taking a nasty fall in 1942, my mother, then twelve, began to menstruate. Of course, her first reaction was to panic, and surrounded by brothers, she chose to not tell anyone, even though she had a very real feeling that she was going to die as well. Years later, remembering her own horror at this recollection, my mother told me about it when I was about nine, and I waited and waited to the point where it was almost a relief when I was almost fourteen and it finally happened. When my own daughters were young, I was quite open and told them this same story, which they were able to grasp and which took some of the fear away. Knowledge of the past is always the key to better understanding of what will happen in the future. ~ Victoria
Approximately six weeks after my mother's beloved mother had died quite suddenly, hemmorhaging after taking a nasty fall in 1942, my mother, then twelve, began to menstruate. Of course, her first reaction was to panic, and surrounded by brothers, she chose to not tell anyone, even though she had a very real feeling that she was going to die as well. Years later, remembering her own horror at this recollection, my mother told me about it when I was about nine, and I waited and waited to the point where it was almost a relief when I was almost fourteen and it finally happened. When my own daughters were young, I was quite open and told them this same story, which they were able to grasp and which took some of the fear away. Knowledge of the past is always the key to better understanding of what will happen in the future. ~ Victoria
well, being the eldest girl in the house made me wonder why my mom was using the proper garment. Then when I was 11 mom explained me the whole situation. Once in a while, a day wouldn't go by without her asking me if my period had already came. Finally, when I was 14 and a half, it came. No more questions. more thn 20 years have gone by......
My mom was much like other mom's during that time she didn't talk to us about the birds, and the bees, menstrual cycles etc. I definitely took the time out to talk with my 11yr old daughter about all of this things in a way she would understand of course and age appropriate. I think it's important for kids to hear from their parents first before they learn from their friends, or other kids in school.
I also think it's very important to talk to them about sexual abuse because I was a victim at such a young age it changed me completely. I remember times when i would cry and ask mom not to leave me with my step dad but she never got it and I didn't say anything until I was older by then it was too late. They had already broken up and I had already begun to live a very permiscous life.
I want my daughter to know that if anyone makes her feel uncomfortable in any way that she can tell me, her dad, or another adult that she trusts. It can be a simple touch, or even a few words. My only prayer is that we continue to have a close relationship and are able to talk to one another no matter how old she get's.
Hi Laura,
I absolutely loved this article. It really spoke to me and I know so many women who can relate as well. I am the Contributing Editor of the Family and Parenting Department for a not-for-profit magazine called Life Today. We are based in the Central Florida region and got out to thousands of caregivers in our area. I would love to talk to you about allowing me to reprint this article in the Summer issue of our magazine. I think a lot of families out there would benefit from reading this funny take on a rite of passage that all women must go through. Please email me at chynds@hotmail.com so that we can discuss reprinting your story.
Thanks so much,
Caroline Johnson