Sherry Davey
This hasn't happened since she was 3.......Lily ran in the street today....with out looking, with out even a moments hesitation. A parents worst nightmare: she just ran into the street. Thank god there were no cars coming, no kidding god was really looking out for her today because we live in Brooklyn on a busy street. Remind me to go to temple or church or whatever this weekend to thank her.
Lily is now 6. This isn't supposed to happen anymore. I thought I taught her well. She scared me to death and I reacted emotionally: I gave her a spanking (which I never do) and threw her scooter away. She cried for about 20 minutes. There was major drama over here but I held fast and just kept explaining why she got a spanking and why I threw her scooter in the trash. I even threatened her with the prospect of worms eating out her eye balls when she lay rotting in her grave because of being run over by a car. She's phobic about worms. I kind of lost my mind for a while.
This was positively one of the worst days of my life. The thought of losing my child made me temporarily insane. I couldn't eat dinner, I feel sick to my stomach. I can't get over the sight of her darting into the street. I keep using the word "I" because it all comes back to me. I feel like I have failed her on some level. That I failed to teach her basic safety and life preservation skills. Why? Why did she do it?
My mother and father feel that her punishment and spanking were justified and that I did the right thing. That this is what you save the spankings for - the really important stuff like putting one self in danger stuff. I agree. I don't feel badly about the spanking I feel badly about the way I lost my mind for a while. Maybe it was good for her to see me so scared that I lost it. Maybe she needed to see the fear in my face in order for her to learn that what she did was deadly.
What would I do with out my girl?! I can't bear the thought of it. I can't live with out my life.
Sincerely,
The worst mother ever.
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Oh my, I came across this article tonight searching for something to calm my mind. My 5 year old daughter just did this. I went to get her from our neighbor's house because it was time to get ready for bedtime and she was mad at me. We, also, live on a normally busy street, so God was watching over my baby girl, as well. I spanked her for it, we save spanking for the major stuff, too. She cried for a long time, but here it is 2 hours later and I am still crying off and on. I laid it on thick about the whole "dead" thing. I wish mine were more afraid of worms so I could have used that. I just kept picturing the worst case scenario having played out and I couldn't stop crying. Thanks for putting your story out here so moms like us can get the support that we are not alone and it does happen in the blink of an eye.