Sherry Davey
Playdates these days seem harder and harder to come by.....specifically in the suburbs. You know, when we lived in Brooklyn, getting together with other children was much easier. We just used to meet in the playground after school. Easy enough. You got to meet the other kids and their parents (good or bad) in a matter of minutes and from there it was on to the greener pastures of individual play dates....or you could just put them on your personal 'do not call list' or click your imaginary 'ignore' button on your face-to-face book. I really miss that ease of socialization that one gets in an urban environment....it's one of the few things I do miss....the noise, the crowds, the perpetual freak show aspect of New York City, being hit on by the homeless and the constant dog poop under my shoes I do not.
I actually thought getting together with other kids out here would be much easier....we have a huge yard now....who wouldn't want to come over??....what was I thinking?? That couldn't be further from reality. Once the kids around here get off that bus at 3:30 you never see them again....I call them the phantom children. They rush home to go play with their siblings, or to gymnastics (or whatever planned activity they fancy) or to their Wii's or whatever other electronic babysitter they occupy themselves with.
Playdates out here consist of calendars and formal phone calls and return phone calls and confirmation calls. Paranoid parents. It's madness!!! And even then, they flake out and forget or come pick the kids up after only 45 minutes!! There's not even time for a happy ending!! It's bizarre. Don't people in the burbs want their children to socialize????!!!!
So, I'm forced to do with Lily what all the other parents out here do....I have her enrolled in tons of afterschool activities: gymnastics (yes, I gave in); horse back riding; Girl Scouts; twirling; soccer; Lacrosse; field hockey; you name it and we're in it. (We're going broke people!) I hate to have her life so scheduled but it's this or be by yourself for hours every day.....or worse.....lately I've found her watching cartoons on youtube only to find that they've been edited by some predator (I gotta email Chris Hanson) with porn clips stuck in the middle of them! So, at this point it's planned activities or pornography for our 6 year old.
I feel like now we've officially drank the kool aid out here: as Lily's dance card is full every minute of every day. I've turned into one of those over-scheduling moms. The kind that have giant, wipe on wipe off calendars in the kitchen. I went to a parent teacher conference on Monday and was literally taking down the names of the other parents who were present and looking up their phone numbers so I could call them to arrange play dates or park dates....some kind of date. Great, now I'm stalking the other parents. Fantastic. They must think I'm nuts. Now she'll never have any playdates.
Do you struggle with keeping your kids socialized in the suburbs too? Please share. How do you cope with this?
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fist of all, about the porn-laced cartoons...,how much evil does someone have to be filled with to do something like that?
about the suburbs.....when my kids were growing up, there were more than enough other kids around; i made mine stay where i could see them, but other moms were not so protective. while i was glad they had playmates, the extra snacks, drinks, and bandaids really beefed up our grocery bill. not to mention the property damage. one mom even had the nerve to send her daycare kids over to my house to play. you've heard of free-range kids? i call them free-loading kids!
victoria
Love your free-range kids reference!!! So funny and so clever. And you're right, the porn-laced cartoons are truly evil, just sick. Maybe it's one of the reasons why moms are so overly protective these days. BTW, the mom who sent over her day care kids to play truly reminds me of the city.....someone always trying to take advantage. So sad....but I bet the kids were adorable. At this point, I wish some day care kids would actually come over!
thanks for taking the time to write,
cheers,
Sherry