Sherry Davey
Whatver you do, don't share with anyone (unless they're really close friends that get you) the names you're thinking of if you're expecting. My friend Jenn just shared with her aunt the name she is leaning towards for her unborn daughter - Madison. Her aunt unleashed a torrent of unwanted advice and criticsm on the expectant mom. "Madison? What kind of a name is that? How about Lexington or Park Avenue? Who cares if it's trendy? Can't you be original?" It was rough. Now I have to tell you, I'm not thrilled about the name Madison either but is that any of my business??...No! So, just to show her support, a kind of emotional I'll-hold-your-hair-for-you-while-you-puke, I said I love it. Because that's what you're supposed to do. You're supposed to just agree and smile and say that sounds lovely. It's called baby name etiquette.....unless they're leaning towards "Jeffrey Dahmer", "Moonraker" or a name like "Nazi Apple". Apple is so the rage right now. Thanks Gwyneth.
I remember when I was expecting Lily. Two weeks before she was born her name hadn't "hit me" yet. I was leaning towards Prudence as I love old English names. I knew in my heart of hearts that she wasn't going to be a Prudence but I was kind of clinging to it....only because Lily hadn't hit me yet.
When I told a family friend at our family holiday gathering (Lily was born 12/22) about Prudence she went ballistic. She actually told me that she thought crazy names like Prudence were a form of child abuse! The baby wasn't even born yet and she was ready to call CPS. I will never forget how badly I felt and how embarrassed I was because of my name choice. It was awful. It wasn't like I chose Moon Unit or something either.
When my sister figured out how this woman was giving me the third degree and then suggesting names of her own (like Deborah and Karen - not bad, but for me they were dated) my sister ensconced herself in the conversation and pretty much told the busy body to get busy with somebody else's business. I will never forget my sister taking a bullet for me that day. I was on an emotional roller coaster as it was from all the hormones and the impending inducement so I was somewhat 'fragile' and just couldn't get the woman to shut up.
My sister told me she thought Prudence was sweet and that no matter what I came up with she thought it would be the right choice. Totally the right thing to say. My sister had just given birth the year before and had to name her son on her own as her husband passed just before the birth and even under those circumstances; people didn't give her a break on the name thing either.
She claims people would say to her, "Now you just HAVE to name him after his father as that's the right thing to do." As if the situation wasn't sad enough, now she was being ordered around by people she really didn't care about. She said she learned early on to just shut up and say nothing or just agree. However, she didn't name him after his father. She gave him his father's name for his middle name and when she sent out the birth announcements all those previous nay sayers just agreed and told her that she made the right decision. Whatever!
Bottom line, whatever you decide will be the right decision, and people just like to hear themselves talk sometimes. And while you're at it, take a tip from this baby mama, don't share your breast feeding or formula plans with anyone either! You will not believe the advice/abuse/guilt you will get on that one!
Congrats on your new baby!
Cheers,
Sherry aka Lily's mum
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