I originally set up my Facebook page for business purposes, but a few weeks in I started receiving 'friend requests' from people I hadn't spoken to or seen in 15 years. I have to say, it was so much fun reconnecting with many friends from high school, college and summer camp days. I had explained to my husband how much fun it was and since he wasn't technical, I set up his facebook page. That was 2 months ago.

by oneofhismoms




I guess when I was a baby, my mother watched soap operas.  Perhaps her mother before her spent most of her time doing the chores our dishwasher, washing machine and microwave do so easily for us now.  I have to admit, I spend my time at home while the baby naps, neither watching 'As the World Turns,' nor baking a cake from scratch.   I'm addicted to my invisible friends.

by Kris

Yes, I am typing this entry with one finger. So I estimate that it will take - oh, a good 30 minutes in order to give a simple piece of advice, something that I personally ignored and that got me into this difficult situation.

I know that it is hard for a busy mom to juggle everything. Certain things (laundry, picking up dry cleaning, visiting with friends) may get pushed to the back of the queue. But one thing I learned (again!) today is do not let your own personal health issues get shoved aside. When there is a problem, take care of it immediately.

every hear of this saying? its a buzz word around my son's school's approach to teaching. and i "get it", but usually when i mention it in mixed company, i get horrified and/or clueless stares. its worse when i've mentioned it on online parent communities, there things get aggressive. 

My youngest son D just turned three and is at that point where he's getting really chatty, in a surreal way. He's just getting the hang of how to get our attention by stringing words together, any words will do. Yesterday, my husband asked him about his day, and he said that he and George (a friend at pre-school) found a frog in the yard, and were pushing it with a stick. "Did it hop away?" my husband asked him. My son replied, "Yeah, and it said (he puts on a low, froggy voice,) "Thank you for the candy."

My husband was curious and asked the schoolteacher about frogs in the yard. She said there weren't any, but maybe D meant a lizard? There are lots of geckos around in Austin. I remember reading once that children often have hallucinations. I'm not sure it was a hallucination, but D shifts from subject to subject mid-sentence, using the word "because" to connect completely unconnected events and ideas, real, dreamed or fictional, so it's hard to follow him. Soon enough, he'll learn how to speak like his big brother, and the illogical rambling sentences will be forgotten. It reminds me that we always meant to write this stuff down.

by Kris


My sons attend Kindergarten and pre-K at the same public school and as Thanksgiving approaches both classes are gearing up for a non-denominational Harvest Feast. Turkey is being provided by the school, and all families are invited (strongly encouraged!) to contribute a side dish.

Not only are there requests for traditional foods such as mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie, there is also a call for dishes 'from your culture.' The more I thought about it, the more confused I became.

Drums to his own beat? Non-Conformist? Sullen? My son was never one of those babies who cooed when you smiled at him adoringly, rarely ever hammed it up for the camera. To the contrary, he has cultivated a pout when asked to "perform". And I can totally respect that. But would it hurt the kid to smile for posterity, on camera, just once, for Halloween?

by Kris

I know that it's almost a year away and that I shouldn't even think, let alone worry, about it yet. But I am already nervous about going back to a 'regular job.' I have been home for almost six years, and while taking care of a household and two rowdy boys demands much time, energy, and organization, I feel completely of out of touch with the world of offices, memos, and morning meetings - a world that I successfully (if not always happily) inhabited for many years before becoming a stay-at-home mom.

by oneofhismoms
momtourage.net

Case Study:  Max and Ruby Rabbit

A Mr. Bun E. Rabbit, his wife, Bonnie Rabbit and her mother, Granny Hare are being held on charges of child abandonment, exploitation of a minor, and child endangerment today, after a shocking discovery was made in the attic of Mrs. Hare.  A vault full of digital recordings of their children, Max and Ruby Rabbit, were found.  These recordings are being held as evidence in the case; they essentially prove that the two children in question had been left to survive without any parental presence for a number of years.

If you are a Hybrid Mom print subscriber you would have read in our Fall issue that I am expecting baby number 3, rather unexpectedly and unplanned! For those that aren't subscribers, I still want to hear from you. I need to know how each and every mom out there juggling 3 kids and EVERYTHING else we juggle - does it. We are all spread so thin and I had thought that I was as thin as I could be (of course not physically - but mentally)! I am amazed everyday from all of our Hybrid Mom readers that write in and tell us their stories and am inspired by them, which certainly helps fuel me and helps my thinning problem! I have another 18 weeks to go until this peanut comes out - please comment here and give me your uplifting words of wisdom. I need my momtourage now! THANKS!

When I had my second child, I was positive that it was going to be a girl. Or rather I was HOPING that it was going to be a girl. But I ended up having two boys. Though I've tried to blur the gender identities to some degree--let's face it, my sons would rather play with action figures instead of baby dolls, and are able to turn anything into a weapon, even a pillow. I often mourn the loss of my unborn girl, and think of the things I won't have the opportunity to do:

1. I won't get to buy the cute clothes with the beautiful stitching and embroidery.
2. I won't get to play dress up with her: try on frilly dresses and high heels, and experiment with make-up.
3. I won't be able to get manicures with her.
4. I won't get to decorate her room with flowers and butterflies.
5. I won't get to buy a doll at American Girl Place or take her to the cafe (I know it's cheesy, but still).
6. I won't be able to buy a tutu or knit her a poncho.
7. I won't get to play with dolls with her and have tea parties.
8. I won't get to braid or curl her hair.
9. I won't get to help her shop for a prom or wedding dress.
10. I won't be able to see her become a woman and have her own children one day.

I try to remind myself that I'm saving lots of money, that I'm spared of the excess of pink and purple, and the Princesses marketing blitz, and the worry that comes with adolescence. Somehow, I have to get excited about stripes (in boys' clothes), and work on my battling skills. And live vicariously through my friends' experiences with their girls.

(And the teacher!)

They've started again...the back-to-school commercials and sales and--what's that on the rack over there--Halloween costumes? Can summer vacation be over already? The real key to back-to-school success lies not with which pair of jeans you get for your child.  It is a bit more subtle than that. After eight years of experience teaching elementary school, I've decided to list a few small things (some obvious, some not) that can make a huge difference in the daily school life of a little kid:

• Before you buy a coat, make sure your child can zip it. 
• Eat breakfast.
• Fill lunch boxes with healthy food they can open by themselves.
• Help, but don't hover. Let your child do homework alone, with you in the room.  Help when they have questions. Look over it when they finish, but don't insist that everything be perfect. Many children get so much help from their parents, that they don't learn anything from the homework. They also don't feel like they can do things without a grown up sitting with them. And guess what? The teacher knows when you do the homework--especially projects. Giving your child a little independence gives them a sense of agency. 

i am so fortunate to have found wonderful yoga teachers here in austin. so a shout out is in order to mandy who teaches from the anusara lineage, she encourages me to open up to grace and to "loop" my kidneys of all things! she is an alignment fanatic, and thinks nothing of pulling up her yoga pants above her knees to illustrate what the thigh looks like in "outer spiral".angela is a flat-out goddess! a generous soul with abundance of information about yogic philosophy, anatomy, and how to apply them to our practice. her familial, un-intimidating manner results in packed classes that feel like private lessons. she focuses me to notice how postures feel from the inside out and keeps my ego in check by reminding me that my ability to get into parsva bakasana doesn't make me a good person.

When my first son was born, my childhood friend (and mother of two teen-aged daughters) came to stay with us for a week to help with our newborn. She spoiled us by cooking, cleaning, helping with the baby, and keeping us company. I didn't realize how much I relied on her until she left.

People had warned us that having a baby was hard work, but it's really impossible to know what it's like until one experiences it for oneself. I had always worked as my husband did, so it was strange to fall into these old-fashioned roles of homemaker and breadwinner. I found myself resenting the fact that he could still wake up and shower and go to work, while I stayed home with the baby. It wasn't an equal partnership anymore; I disliked having to do more household chores, but since I wasn't earning money, I felt that I had to contribute somehow. It was difficult for me to adjust to motherhood and caring for a newborn.

Many of the parenting guides that I had read pointed out that traditionally, women in a tribe or village helped each other raise the children in their community. We were fortunate to be living in a family-friendly village of Brooklyn, with several friends becoming parents around the same time. I don't know how I would have survived those early days without the friendship and support from my momtourage. There's nothing comparable to the camaraderie one shares with other parents. It has been a pleasure to watch our kids grow up together and become playmates, too.

A good friend once told me how she fantasized that one day we would all have kids, and they could all play together and be friends too. At the time, I never wanted kids, so I thought she was crazy. Twenty years later, with kids about the same age, I can appreciate her forethought.

Because being a mom can be isolating even if you live in the middle of the city, I formed a plan about two years ago  that involved using technology to combat mommy-loneliness. The idea was formed at a rare, adults only lunch with a  non-parent journalist friend.

Me: "Boy, this is nice, lunch out. no running after kids. I'm just sitting here in my chair eating."

Him: (looking at me like I'm sort of crazy) "Maybe you should do it more often."

Me: "Yeah, but I guess whenever my mom's in town I usually want to give the house a good clean."

Him: "Maybe you should join a writing group or something. At night."

Me: (laughing) "Oh, I'm way too tired by then."

And while I left the table for a short potty break, he devised a plan that I, technophobe that I was, should start a mommy-blog. And because I knew I was busy and a little lazy when I wasn't busy, that I should form that blog with some other mom friends so we could bounce ideas off of each other and share in the challenge of posting regularly. Hence momtourage.net was born.