Results tagged “behavior” from Momtourage: Need Advice?

You are lucky to have family members taking care of your son. I know it's hard, but try not to take it personally when he chooses them over you.

Teenagers will test you. They'll try out bad language and bad behavior at home, just like little kids will try out potty language at home. They know you won't disown them. It's a safe place. Nevertheless, even if you won't disown them, it's important for you to respond consistently: "We don't talk like that around here." If the bad language doesn't gain them anything and doesn't create a scene, they're more likely to stop using it.

Since your son is 10, there's a strong likelihood that he witnessed or heard many arguments when you and his father were together. Many times parents think the children are asleep or oblivious to the violence, but in most cases they're very aware but afraid to talk about it.

Your child should be able to sit through an entire meal by the time she's seven or eight. When she's younger, she can sit for a portion of the meal. If she gets fussy and restless, you can excuse her from the table. It works well if you set up a play area near the table so you can keep track of her and so you can expose her to the social interactions at the dinner table.

Many researchers feel 10 is the "most fearful age," so your daughter may just be living up to that adage. To determine if you need professional help with her anxiety, it's critical to determine how much her fears are getting in the way of her daily activities.

You'll have to start by talking to your son. You can't talk about this in the middle of a whining event. Try it at a different time. An 8-year-old is old enough to control his behavior; so as soon as the behavior stops working, he will let it go. Tell him that the whining is too much, that it happens every time he doesn't get what he wants and it's not going to work any longer. Be perfectly clear. Say, "We don't whine any more."

You can start when they are infants. Begin by establishing a culture of respect and consideration early on. You can do this by showing respect and consideration for everyone (including the baby) in the household. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way to creating that atmosphere of respect. "Please" turns a demand into a request and "thank you" shows appreciation. Requests and appreciation are essential parts of a culture of respect and consideration. So make it a habit.