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My 11-year-old soccer player breaks into tears during her games. How can we help her?

THE QUESTION :

Our 11-year-old daughter has played soccer since she was five and was always one of the best girls on her team. Recently, she's begun to break into tears during games. A few years ago, she would cry when she was too hot, frustrated or tired, but now it happens at every game. It's embarrassing for her. We've tried to teach her relaxation and breathing techniques, but it doesn't help. We fear that if we take her out, it will be damaging to her. If we leave her in, that will be bad, too. We've suggested seeing a counselor, but she is mortified by the thought of being seen as crazy. I think she would like to play, but doesn't know how to control her emotions. How can we help her?

THE ANSWER:

Sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with your daughter. Let her know that it's her choice whether or not she wants to play soccer, and that you'll love and support her whether or not she plays.

Tanya Remer Altmann

I work full time, my husband travels all week and my two kids are a handful. How can I find "me time"?

THE QUESTION :

I work full time, my husband is on the road Monday through Friday, and I have two children -- a 2-year-old girl and a 7-year-old boy who has been diagnosed with ADHD [attention deficit hyperactivity disorder] and ODD [oppositional defiance disorder]. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted. Since I have to get up at 5:45 a.m., I go to bed just minutes after the kids fall asleep. How can I get some "me time" without making my kids feel like I don't want to be around them?

THE ANSWER:

You describe your work day as starting at 5:45. Does that mean you have outside help in the morning when your husband is travelling? If so, is there any chance that person could help out after school -- for an hour or two once a week -- so that you could grab a cup of coffee with a friend?

Marilyn Augustyn

Why does my 8-year-old get tummy aches so often?

THE QUESTION :

How can I help my 8-year-old son with his sore tummy? A sensitive stomach does run in the family. I was a worrier as a kid and I remember lots of tummy aches. I've tried talking to my son about how he's feeling, but he says he's not worried. Our general practitioner says sore stomachs are very common in children. Anything I can do?

THE ANSWER:

Stomachaches are very common at this age. But keeping a diary can often help you discover what is causing or contributing to your child's belly soreness. Write down everything he eats and drinks; when he goes to the bathroom; when he has the pain; and what is going on at the time of the pain.

Tanya Remer Altmann

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