Results tagged “birth order” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

by oneofhismoms

Oh honey, I'd love to play superhero with you, but right now mommy's too busy pushing peas through this strainer.  Not. 

I can't believe my baby girl is turning 6 next week.  We had her birthday party yesterday and when it came time to sing Happy Birthday I got all verklempt.  I actually had to hold back the tears.  Suddenly, it hit me.  My baby isn't my baby anymore.  She's growing up faster than I ever imagined.   Enjoy them while you can 'cause before you know it: they don't want to sit on your lap anymore; don't want you to cuddle them; and would much rather walk in front of you than hold your hand.  Cherish your babies while you can and tell them you love them every day.

My husband and I are seeing a fertility specialist, turns out we have reproductive issues.  I had to take the HSG test earlier this week and god was it painful!  They warned me ahead of time to take a painkiller and I was like yeah right.  I had a 9 and a half pound baby the first time!  I gave birth to a toddler!  How bad could it be?  Wrong.  Very bad.  In laymen's terms, it's an xray of one's fallopian tubes, ovaries, the works....  Looks like my right side is completely blocked. Why am I not surprised?  It couldn't be easy but I did conceive Lily 5 years ago with that same blockage (most likely) in place....so keep your fingers crossed. 

by oneofhismoms
momtourage.net

Case Study:  Max and Ruby Rabbit

A Mr. Bun E. Rabbit, his wife, Bonnie Rabbit and her mother, Granny Hare are being held on charges of child abandonment, exploitation of a minor, and child endangerment today, after a shocking discovery was made in the attic of Mrs. Hare.  A vault full of digital recordings of their children, Max and Ruby Rabbit, were found.  These recordings are being held as evidence in the case; they essentially prove that the two children in question had been left to survive without any parental presence for a number of years.

Our daughter Lily is 5 years old and born late in the year... December 22nd to be exact.  She was promoted from Kindergarten to first Grade this year... much to my dismay, despite my begging and pleading. However, the New York City Public School system, in it's infinite wisdom, states that everyone born in 2002 regardless of month is in first grade this year no exceptions...nothing like taking the individual into account. You vill go to first grade und you vill like it!

Our 5-year-old daughter Lily is our only child.  It wasn't our plan to have only one child...but so far, that's just how it worked out.  If it was though, that would be fine too.  We're working on changing her status but in the meantime, we've still got the brand.  I feel like every day, in one way or another, I'm reminded that we only have one child.....not from good friends of course but the public at large.  I just love it when people meet us for the first time and say things like, "Is she your only one?"  Emphasis on only.  "You really should have another...just in case."  Thanks.  Thanks for that reminder...what did you say your name was?....the grim reaper??  Oh sorry, I forgot. 

A little girl comes home from her first day of school.  Her mother asks, "What did you learn today?"   The little girl replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

Lily, our five year old, is having trouble adjusting to the 'independent work' of first grade.  She's bright and is operating at grade level but is breaking down (and having trouble pulling it back together again) when she makes a mistake, misses a direction, or something else equally as minor.  She also needs a little prompting to keep up.  However, this is not unusual nor alarming....at least for me.  We just keep reassuring her of her intelligence and ability.  We are her support group...and the meetings are daily not weekly.

This ride was symbolic of the emotional roller coaster we were on with Lily and all her female cousins this past Sunday.  We spent the day at a wonderful (and expensive) amusement park but still....very few of the female children were happy or allowed us to see them being happy.  They're all budding divas and drama queens no matter what their birth order.  It was a day of crying, sighing, demanding, threatening, door slamming, ultimatums, foot stamping and that was just the five year olds.  I was like who wants Midol?  By the end of the day, I felt like Lindsay Lohan's personal assistant.  Do you suffer from little girl drama??  Do tell.

I think we can all agree that nothing builds a summer home for a therapist faster than favoring one child over another......

We have a family friend (let's call her Sara for now) whom we've known for years.  Our parents are friends therefore we see them at holidays and so forth.  She's definitely not a member of my Brooklyn Momtourage.  Let me make that very clear.  Last year, much to our dismay, she, her petulant husband and her two children moved three miles from us in Brooklyn. 

Sara most definitely favors her younger child and caters to that child to the detriment of all others and most importantly the older sibling.  It borders on co-dependency.  It so happens the catered-to child is a male.....who is much like her husband whom she caters to on an outrageous level as well....in fact it's Lifetime Movie Of The Week, forget-the-women's-liberation-movement, can-I-cut-your-meat-for-you??, I'm-not-really-hurt-it's-just-a-little-blood catering status.  The older, much ignored sibling is a sweet, considerate, little girl. 

This has been a topic of discussion for years because we spend every Hanukah/Christmas with them and god forbid the older child receives one gift more than the younger, the younger will throw a fit and the older child will have to give the gift back to Sara who then gives it to charity.  Sara merely has to say to her daughter, "Hand it over you're upsetting your brother," and the girl relinquishes the gift....always to the shock and amazement of everyone.  We all chime in with our annual, "What?!  Are you kidding me?"  But she ignores us.  And when her son throws these fits I don't know who I want to smack more him or her. 

When we were growing up my parents never had enough time nor money to spoil us.  They were so busy just making ends meet that if we didn't like what was on our plate for dinner there were no 'other options' (like "...don't worry, I went to Costco I've got extra grilled chicken in the fridge..."), if we cried because we didn't want to go to bed we got spanked.  There was no negotiating with those two.  But when it comes to their grandchildren, my parents completely indulge them....as it should be.  Consider the photo to your right exhibit A. 

Lily asked for an ice cream yesterday and my mother spent 10 extra minutes cutting up enough strawberries and Hershey's kisses to make a 'Rooster' cone for her.  This is coming from the same woman who said phrases to us like, "I'll knock you into next week."  Go figure.

Do your parents spoil your children? Tell us how.

Maybe being born first isn't all it's cracked up to be, after all. According to a new study from Johns Hopkins University, parents are frequently much harder on their eldest child than they are on their other kids. The study found that firstborns who drop out of school are 20 percent less likely to receive most of their income from their parents than younger siblings in the same situation. Additionally, firstborn daughters who get pregnant as teenagers are 30 percent less likely to receive significant financial support from their parents than younger female siblings in the same situation.

The researchers believe that parents punish firstborns more severely as a means of setting an example for their younger children. But the study also found that this might not be all bad news. Firstborns are typically more reliable and conscientious, because for most of their lives they have been held to a higher standard than their younger brothers and sisters.

What do you think? Do you agree with the study's findings? Were they true in your household when you were growing up? What about now? Are you harder on your eldest child? Is your firstborn more responsible? Share your thoughts, and then check out our Birth Order Compatibility Tool.

• Sandwiched In Between: Parenting the Middle Child
• The Oldest Child Is Smarter…So Says the Research

-- Victoria Loustalot, Real-Time Associate Producer