Results tagged “celebrities” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

I listened to all the vapid talking heads on Good Morning America this morning review the controversial new PSA on domestic violence featuring actress Keira Knightley.  You know you live in a misogynist culture when people take issue with a psa on domestic violence.  Yes, the images are graphic and disturbing....but here's a dose of reality.....domestic violence is graphic and disturbing.  It's only a film and it's meant to be wake us up out of our anesthetized state of stupidity on the subject.  Enough with the sugar coating already.  We're all so overweight as it is.  Let's thin down on reality.  That's the plan for spring: let's all shed 20 pounds worth of denial.

You know, it isn't only the fat cats on Wall Street who have become synonymous with greed and excess these days.....self-important celebrities are right up there too with the overpaid and undeserving.  Today, I learned that Oprah just penned a deal with XM Satellite Radio for $55 Million.  

  Finally, a Hollywood actress is doing more with her breasts than just flaunting them on the red carpet.....and people are upset?  I generally don't write about celebrities unless they're doing something monstrously stupid or ridiculously funny because let's face it:  they're over exposed; completely boring; unimportant; narcisstic; and mostly irrelevant.  However, this story really has me intrigued.  Apparently, Selma Hayek, was in Sierra Leone and breastfed a malnourished baby boy....whom she's not related to.....(pause)....okay.   Sounds good to me....right?  Sounds like she may have even saved the baby's life.  So.....isn't that a good thing?  Haven't people ever heard of wet nurses?   Wouldn't you share your breast milk with a starving baby?  I don't see a problem. 

Just wanted to let you know that my show MAMA'S NIGHT OUT is coming to Minne-snowta this weekend for three shows!  MAMA'S NIGHT OUT (my momtourage) is comedy by mothers for everyone so you can definitely bring your husband.  Here's all the info:

There's a spring in my step today.  Wonder what it could be?  Could it be.....hope?  That's right, I'm actually feeling hopeful today for the first time in a long time.  I went to vote at 6:50am at our local school in Brooklyn just in case there were any lines.  Guess what?!  There were!  The lines were wrapped around the building.  The turn out is amazing.  I hope our current president sees the news tonight (it comes on right after Barney, George) and interprets the vast voter turnout as I do:  the people's mandate for change, that we're anxious to have the current adminstration over.  There's been a Bush, a Dick, a Colon....I think we got screwed.  Say bye bye boys.  I pray for all the Democrats on the ticket today.  It's important to get out there and vote dear readers....as we don't have this one locked up by a long shot. 

Despite all the turmoil in the markets, partisan politics and the war in Iraq, looking at pictures of Mr. & Mrs. Obama in their most "naked" moments - in front of crowds, cameras and all the rest of us - fills me with hope.  Their respectful, tender and encouraging pda-ing including "the bump", are an example of what true love and admiration really look like.  The usual pics of presidential candidates and their wives feature them holding hands and waving to the crowds.  They're clearly just another meaningless photo op.  This is quite different.  She's got his back - literally and philosophically.  Very refreshing.

posted by oneofhismoms





As Pat Kiernan of my local TV station put it, "Some things are shocking, some are not."  He was talking about the headline that Clay Aiken, almost-American Idol cum international superstar, is gay.  Woah.  You don't say.  The thought-provoking part of the whole thing is that he decided to come out now--this is going to be fantastic fodder for comedian Kathy Griffin--because he is a father.

posted by mommyq

Babies, babies and more babies grace the inside pages of People Magazine. My guess is, it's one of the hottest issues of the year. And not because of Sarah Palin, although she's very interesting indeed. It's because these aren't normal babies, they are celebrity babies! Which leads me to a simple question, why are we so doggone OBSESSED with celebrities and their babies and their baby bumps?

You know, the whole Sarah Palin nomination for GOP VP has really got me thinking.  Every time I see her, she's posing with her husband and her five children...she's pro-life if you haven't heard already.  Well, she must be pro-babysitter and pro-daycare too because who is raising her children while she's busy being Governor of Alaska and now VP hopeful - campaigning all over the place?  Why have a big family if you're not intending to raise them?  Are all these pictures just more lies being propagated by our society that we can have it all?  That we can have whatever we want:  tons of children, a happy family and a fabulous career?  Is that even possible?

It's all over the internet: GOP Veep Candidate Sarah Palin's unmarried teen daughter is pregnant. And? Why am I not shocked? Heres some new for you - it happens every day in America and all over the world for that matter. It's no secret, we all know that teen pregnancy rates among girls 15-19 years of age in America are on the rise. As the mother of a daughter, I'm hoping that perhaps this will draw some attention to this disturbing trend. I heard the Democratic Presidential Candidate say over the weekend (I'm paraphrasing), "..families and children [of politicians] should be off limits." Exactly. Right on Mr. Obama, once again you have proven that you are the man.

Hollywood more excited about bumps than boobs these days. 

I'm not that old at all, but being in show business myself, I do remember the days when having a baby meant the end of a starlet's career.  However, today is a much different story: between the all too excited rumors of Jennifer Garner possibly expecting again; the craziness over J-Lo's twins; and the reported $12 million paid for the first pics of Brangelina's summer blockbusters; I think it's safe to say that Hollywood is gaga for the goo goo set.

I feel like I'm the only woman left in NYC that hasn't seen SEX IN THE CITY  the movie.  It's opening weekend box office topped $55million according to MSN films, a number that way surpasses the population of all five boroughs.  I'm waiting to see it with my Mama's Night Out momtourage 'cause that's how you're supposed to see this movie...with your girlfriends.  The only problem is, I won't be seeing them till July so until then I'm going to be sexless in the city till then. 

Did you see the movie?  Did you see it with your girlfriends or should we be making whipping sounds followed by meowing cat noises for your husband?  How was it?  Please let me know but don't give away the ending. 

Hey there friends.  Just want to let you know that I'll be in Baltimore this weekend for a taping of the debut of the hot new, theatrical comedy experience:  Divercity:  3 Women, 3 Worlds, 1 Stage.  This is the first theatrical comedy that brings together women of different colors and ethnicities on the same stage.  The ladies of this show are my new Momtourage. 

"Sara Contreras , Meshelle and Sherry Davey (moi) bring to life America's true DIVERCITY.  Politics & Stereotypes all hang in the balance, as this Theatrical Comedy Experience launches with its sights set on celebrating what AMERICA hopes to be on its BEST BEHAVIOR.  With Sara's Latina energy, passion, and wit , Meshelle's undeniable African-American consciousness and charm, and Sherry's British-Jewish-ness with the heart of a Brooklyn-ite, you'll get a full course of music,stand-up, and improvisation served with a dose of red/white/blue boldness that is DIVERCITY!"  If we can laugh together we can live together.

Between Brittney, Lindsay and Miley, I think it's quite clear that children and show business are a toxic (in some cases lethal) combination.  Brittney and Lindsay are now adults and quite dysfunctional too thank you very much.  During the time Brittney was bald and beating up paparazzi with umbrellas all I could think was, "Where is this poor girls mother?"  

Birttney and Lindsay have been working full time since they were children and with their parents acting as their managers and I'm sure drawing a salary from their children's earnings based on that title.  If that's not a conflict of interest I don't know what is.  Some may argue that we don't know the details of their 'financial relationships' but I think we can easily see that Dinah Lohan now has her own reality show based on the fact that her child is a talented star.....not her.  If she wasn't the mother of Lindsay I think it's safe to say she'd make a fabulous nail technician and town gossip back on Long Island.

Would you put your children in show business?

• Yes, the millions they earn as children could pay for all their therapy as adults
• No
• Not sure

Isn't this the cutest?  Seeing this piglet nuzzled so peacefully against his mama in sweet slumber almost makes me forget how much I love bacon. 

This mama piggie had 8 piglets in her litter!  Unlike any of those crazy, kid-filled families on the Discovery Channel though no one is offering her her own show.....at least that we know of.  But who knows?  With the trend being tasteless, trashy peeps on all those reality shows (Flavor Of Love, Real Housewives of New York City, etc.) these pigs might be the cleanest thing out there.

Hey there Funny Mom fans, if you want some really good belly laughs this weekend come out to see MAMA'S NIGHT OUT on Saturday, May 3rd, at 8:00PM at the Carlisle Theatre in Harrisburg, PA.  Get an early start to your Mother's Day celebration this year.  

MAMA'S NIGHT OUT is comedy by mothers for everyone so bring your husbands they'll enjoy it too.  MNIO is family friendly comedy but please leave the kids at home!

I just heard the news that J Lo and hubby Mark Anthony are going to star in their own reality show on the Learning Channel about balancing family and career.  I am so fed up with the reality genre already.  What ever happened to a little fiction?  Not to say that reality shows aren't completely produced and fake but enough airing of the boring minutia of the lives of celebrities, their ugly, spoiled families and showing them after they've had unneccessary plastic surgery and calling it entertainment already.  

And J Lo just had her babies like a few weeks ago and suddenly she's the authority on balancing career and family?!  Oh yeah, it's so hard to maintain that balance when you have millions of dollars.  Try balancing my entertainment career with my family!  There's no full time nanny in my house to pick up the kids after school, clean the house, no personal assistant to run my errands or drive me to the airport.  Give me a break.  I'm on the ledge people and I'm gonna jump already.  Sounds like the Learning Channel got desperate in their grab for ratings and lowered themselves for another celeb style reality show. 

PS - I did a season on a reality show and I can say with the utmost conviction that they're completely produced.

Sorry readers I couldn't help commenting on this photo I saw on AOL.com today.  My b.s. barometer has reached fever pitch and there's not enough Children's Tylenol in this house to break it.  I know what you're thinking.....this photo of Bush must be photo-shopped because we've never seen him expressing real emotion in the form of tears before for the victims of the war that he started in Iraq.  Finally.  But do you think he really cares about all our young soldiers dying over there?  Or for the Iraqi people?  The families (in both countries) that are being destroyed by this senseless war?  The fact that we've taken the most secular country in the Middle East and completely devastated their economy and their infrastructure?  And what about our own economy?  Our own infrastructure?  Our schools? 

The bridge in my neighborhood was just voted one of the 20 most heavily trafficked in the U.S. in need of immediate repair.  And it's over water!  There's no money to fix it either but there's money for a war.  And for those of you who say, that money comes from a different place I say it comes from the same place - the tax payers pocket.  Enough already.  Every great civilization falls:  ancient Rome did too fighting countless wars against supposed 'invaders'.  I wonder if they referred to the Gauls as the evil doers?  A man started this war I think it will take a woman to end it.....and you know who I'm talking about.  But I think it would be even more sweetly ironic if the man to assume office after Bush has the middle name Hussein.  Maybe there is a god after all.

I checked out the Miss Bimbo Virtual Fashion Game today after attending a luncheon for a very dignified female icon in the world of black and white print media: the still gorgeous and glamorous at 85 Liz Smith.  The luncheon was held at the Friars Club in New York City and there were many accomplished, educated, funny, non bimbos in attendance. 

All the ladies at our table were buzzing about the aforementioned site.  We were all pretty much in agreement that it puts the whore in horrendous.  Sadly, we are neither surprised nor shocked by it's existence.  We're female comedians for gods sake - we've been commenting on misogyny for years - and making a living at it. 

We're counting on Hillary to make a comment on the site.  The world needs to hear from the apotheosis of non bimbos on this one.  And I can't wait to hear what she has to say.  God knows this poor woman has had her fill of bimbos over the years.  I'm sure she was the first phone call Mrs. Spitzer made last week.  Forget all the nastiness and back biting associated with endless campaigning Hillary.  (She and Barack are now misspeaking and just plain saying things that aren't true because they're bloody exhausted already.  You can see the fatigue writ large their faces.)  And what's more, the American public seems to be growing weary of the campaign already.  Let's get back to the real issues: ending the war; educating our children; taking care of our economy; feeding the poor; raising non bimbos.  Come on now girlfriend.  We need you more than ever Hillary.