Results tagged “discipline” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

  Every parenting expert out there warns us not to engage in food battles with our children because it's one of the few places they can exert their control and we'll lose.  Lily has suddenly at the age of 6 begun a nightly ritual of refusing dinner.  I'm of the belief that 'forcing' them to eat is a waste of time and energy.  Life is just too short for all that conflict.  My philosophy has always been, I'm not making her a special meal she eats what we eat and if she doesn't and wants a snack later - tough, no way.  Too bad.  Eat your dinner.  However, last night, I had to work and wasn't around to supervise.  Apparently, my husband gave in and quicky replaced her pork chop with chicken.  I was livid!!  I'm surprised he just didn't give her ice cream for dinner. (I can see it.)  Whatever happened to I have your back?!

Our friend Hunter has sticky fingers and I don't mean from his juice box.  After our play date yesterday, he helped himself to a gratis Snickers bar from the deli.  You see, he wanted Reeses Pieces and a Snickers but was faced with an awful choice when told by his mum that he could only have one.  We didn't realize he had taken the Snickers until we were down the street and he had finished his Reeses only to begin working on the Snickers!  His mother was furious!!  She told him off, gave him a time out, made him go back and apologize and pay for it and it did not end there.  There was an embarrassing conversation over dinner with his father about his crime which resulted in him losing all Wii privelages this weekend.

When Lily was 5 I was the center of her universe....a place I loved being though I knew it was short lived.  I did enjoy it while it lasted though.  The six year old child is a complex, independence seeking, bipolar animal who swings from extremes like, "Mommy I want to love you all day," to "I don't like you, you're not my friend anymore."  And that was only because I wanted her off my computer for a minute...jeeesh.....what's she gonna say when things really get bad?  "You're a disappointment as a mother?!"  Ooowwww!  Tough crowd.  Good thing I have a strong sense of self.  I know Youtube is addicting but puh-lease.

There comes a point when a parent's gotta do what a parent's gotta do.

That was my reaction when I heard about the Chesapeake mom and dad who decided they'd had enough of their 15-year-old son's failing grades. Tutoring didn't work. Talking didn't work. Taking away privileges didn't work. At their wits end, Don and Tanyeil General presented their son, Trenton, an out-of-the-box option: Hand over his cell-phone for two weeks or do time -- on a street corner for two hours with a sign telling the world that he was flunking English and algebra. The bottom of the sign read: "My future = shaky."

per.mis.sive - adjective 1. habitually or characteristically accepting or tolerant of something, as social behavior or linguistic usage, that others might disapprove or forbid. 

We are just winding down a (for the most part) highly successful family vacation out on the West Coast. I say successful because if there ever was a situation that was ripe for disaster this was it: a shared household of 12 family members, complete with a nightly dinner rotation and an informal chore sharing structure. Oh, and 5 of those people are children ranging in age from 16 months to 16 years. And oh yeah, my two boys (aged 4 and 5) are "rambunctious." I guess that's the kind way to describe it.

by oneofhismoms

He's sitting there in an ocean of wrapping paper.  Pouting.  He's opened the big car and the pirate ship and the play dough ice cream station.  "And what else?"  He's looking for more.  You give him the line you've always given him, "That's a lot of presents, honey.  Aren't we lucky to have so many things?"  You know for sure somewhere, probably within miles of where your three-year-old pouts, there are children who would be completely content with only one of these toys.  How did this happen?  Where is the re-wind button?

every hear of this saying? its a buzz word around my son's school's approach to teaching. and i "get it", but usually when i mention it in mixed company, i get horrified and/or clueless stares. its worse when i've mentioned it on online parent communities, there things get aggressive. 

Lately, Lily has been somewhat rude to me.  She is definitely a bossy gal...wonder who she gets that from?!  Not me!  No.  Not possible. 

What ever happened to that sweet little baby who used to worship the ground I walk on?  Honestly, I don't need to be worshipped but at least regarded as a fellow human being deserving some basic rights like: not walking in on me when I'm on the toilet with her friends in tow; talking over me when I'm saying something loving like, "I'm so proud of you,"; sighing a great deal when I'm speaking and/or not finding what I say interesting anymore. 

I guess it's over......and she's only 5.  I thought the tween years start at 10 or 11 not 5.  Help!  Has this happened to you?!

Lily is only 5 years old but OMG! she's officially become a drama queen...lately, I think drag queens are easier going.  I asked her to put her shoes in the shoe bin last night, something she's been doing for years.  I don't like shoes in the house because it's like bringing the street in your home...and we live in Brooklyn one can only imagine what goes on in that street.  All she had to do was reach over 3 feet and put them in the bin but instead she had her nineteenth nervous breakdown.

"You're ruining my life!"  She said as she through herself on the floor in a tearful fit.  Then she threw the shoes across the room.  I know....it was really funny, so over the top.  Give her a feather boa already.

"Sweetie, all I ask is that you put your shoes in the bin so you don't trip on them and break your neck.  This is not ruining your life....I have yet to begin to ruin your life," was my response.

Is this kind of dramatic behavior common for 5 year olds?  I hate it when friends say, "It's a girl thing."  My nephew is a drama king as well so obviously that logic doesn't apply.

I think we can all agree that nothing builds a summer home for a therapist faster than favoring one child over another......

We have a family friend (let's call her Sara for now) whom we've known for years.  Our parents are friends therefore we see them at holidays and so forth.  She's definitely not a member of my Brooklyn Momtourage.  Let me make that very clear.  Last year, much to our dismay, she, her petulant husband and her two children moved three miles from us in Brooklyn. 

Sara most definitely favors her younger child and caters to that child to the detriment of all others and most importantly the older sibling.  It borders on co-dependency.  It so happens the catered-to child is a male.....who is much like her husband whom she caters to on an outrageous level as well....in fact it's Lifetime Movie Of The Week, forget-the-women's-liberation-movement, can-I-cut-your-meat-for-you??, I'm-not-really-hurt-it's-just-a-little-blood catering status.  The older, much ignored sibling is a sweet, considerate, little girl. 

This has been a topic of discussion for years because we spend every Hanukah/Christmas with them and god forbid the older child receives one gift more than the younger, the younger will throw a fit and the older child will have to give the gift back to Sara who then gives it to charity.  Sara merely has to say to her daughter, "Hand it over you're upsetting your brother," and the girl relinquishes the gift....always to the shock and amazement of everyone.  We all chime in with our annual, "What?!  Are you kidding me?"  But she ignores us.  And when her son throws these fits I don't know who I want to smack more him or her. 

Hey there ladies.  I have great news.  As of this week I lost 20 pounds on Weight Watchers!!!  I'm so pleased.  It's been tough but now I'm eating healthier most importantly eating less and I work out 3-4 times a week.  My cholesterol also went down to 180 so I'm really thrilled.

Today is July 4th one of my two favorite holidays....the other is Thanksgiving because for me it's all about getting together with family and friends and sharing a great meal.  However, today I'm really going to be mindful about what I eat as I tend to overload myself at barbecues with pasta and potato salads (and chips and booze).  This year, it's my turn to host and I'm only preparing healthy salads, no pasta or starchy ones, and lots of lean meat.  I've asked my guests to only bring fruit salads and fresh fruit dishes for desserts.  It's going to be a delicious day.  Freedom from fat is one of the best freedoms of all.

The next time your child needs disciplining forget time outs, the naughty chair, loss of privelages and spanking.  How about taking them on a trip to the cemetary to visit Santa??!! 

I don't know where my friend gets these photos.  She's a mother of 5 girls ranging in ages from 2 to 19.  I imagine when one has that many children that psychological torture is something one would rely on from time to time.

We sat through our first very-over-the-top skating recital for Lily this past Sunday.  By over-the-top I mean 4 year old girls in full make up with their hair professionally quaffed in skimpy little outfits.  Some of the parents even hired professional photographers to capture that special moment on the ice for posterity.  What are these people going to do for these kids' weddings?? 

Anyway, I was so proud of Lily.  At five, she's the youngest in her class but had all the moves down just like the older girls.  However, when it came to show time she froze and just stood there picking her nose...literally.  For 90 seconds of the routine, basically the whole thing, that's all she did.  Oh well.  She's 5 for goodness sake.

I don't think so but so many parents of Lily's male classmates seem to differ.  I think both sexes pose their own difficulties at different ages.  I have witnessed boys in the playground after school fighting more often and more seriously than the girls (literally pummeling each other) but I've also known girls who can hold a grudge for months over the slightest infraction (MY NIECE) or parents of teenage girls worrying about the very real threat of teen pregnancy (my neighbors).  Our niece, Emma, didn't talk to another girl in her class for 6 months because the little girl farted next to her.  Emma claimed she did it deliberately.  Can you imagine?!   

In your experience...

• Boys are harder to raise than girls
• Girls are harder to raise than boys
• Both sexes present their own unique problems at different ages

For years I've been telling Lily not to write on the walls only to have our contractor, Bob the Builder, do the opposite.  I tried explaining this one but she wasn't buying it.  She told him he was naughty and that if he did it again he'd get a time out or that she'd take away his favorite video.  You go girl.

Yes, no, maybe, sometimes but not always. Put it this way, my 'balancing act' is constantly shifting to accomodate daily life.  I gotta tell ya, as a working mother, I'm so sick and tired of people constantly telling me how easy it is to balance career and family.  Personally, I have found that the key to having a career and family is constant negotiation and adjusting one's goals to reality (and a great babysitter).  I call it, living a life of lowered expectations.  I'm sure someone is going to read this and say, you're wrong, it's easy and that they've got it all down.  Good.  Good for them.  Recently, I read an article on AOL that offered the latest input on the four (overly simplified) simple steps to balancing career and family.   Here they are: 

1. Incorporate telecommuting into your workday.

Many companies allow their employees to work from home one or more days per week, which is an easy way for you to spend more time in the morning and afternoon with your children rather than in standstill traffic. Check with your human resources department and employee manual to see if telecommuting is an option. Of course, to telecommute you should be self-disciplined and able to get your work done even though the boss isn't leaning over your shoulder.

-- Have these people actually tried working at home??  It ain't easy.  I'm a professional writer and I do most of my writing in the wee hours of the night when everyone's asleep.  (There goes my sleep and my sex life - good thing I don't work in an office or I'd be exhausted, frustrated and snapping at everyone all day.)  Have you ever tried talking on the phone when your kids are around?  If you think that's hard try creating a presentation with them in the next room.  Good luck with all of that.

From the Brady Bunch to Eight is Enough to Step by Step, it used to be that a big family, combined with just the right amount of drama and love, was the perfect equation for a successful sitcom. Now, reality T.V. families are taking their place, in an even more supersized way.

According to CNN.com, the Duggars (from the Discovery Health T.V. series) are expecting their 18^th child. The other children range in age from 20 years old to nine months and are apparently as well-tempered, if not more so, than the Von Trapp kids. According to the family's Web site, every Duggar child learns to play both violin and piano and the family organizes their household chores by assigning "jurisdictions," so everyone knows exactly what their daily responsibilities are.

On the other side of the behavior spectrum are the eight kids of TLC's John and Kate Plus 8. With two-year-old sextuplets and six-year-old twins, each episode displays a new bout of sibling squabbles and tantrums.

In your opinion, what is the perfect-size brood? How much does your own birth order play into your opinion? Which reality T.V. family sounds more like your own?