Results tagged “friends” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

When I was young, my favorite season was summer: school was out, the weather was hot, and we could just play all day. Living in southern California meant easy bus journeys to the beach with friends from school and lots of lazing 'round and reading. 

by Kris

I should be looking forward to this afternoon. My oldest son is being picked up from his Kindergarten class to go directly to a playdate with his best friend. She lives less than a block away from us and her sitter is fantastic - patient, kind, resourceful. I know that she can handle whatever comes along.

And boy do I fear that something will come along. And although you probably wouldn't guess it from meeting him for the first or even the second time, my son is a special needs child. Most of the time he is absolutely fine - engaging, intelligent and creative. Functional. But just when I am lulled into hoping that our problems may be lessening, it happens.

First there was the case that made national news: Six Pennsylvania teenagers were charged with child pornography--a felony, which could land all of them on the state sex offender registry--for sending or receiving nude photos of each other on their cell phones.

by Kris

One of the biggest surprises I experienced after having children was the drastic expansion of my community. Sure, I 'lost' a few single friends who were unwilling (or disinterested) in adapting to my new diaper-centric lifestyle. But I gained oh so many more people in a world that literally shrank to a ten block square. (I could see Manhattan from my window but visited it about twice during the first year of my son's life.)

by oneofhismoms



I thought today I'd blog about sleep training.   How it sucks.  And how when the woman who gives you help with it has twins.  And when you have a friend with twins you realize that everything you do with your baby could have been twice as hard.  Or maybe I'd blog about  the two week wait advent calendar I invented.  How very proud I am of the idea, for my friends who are still TTC.  Then I had to go to a funeral today.  A funeral for a baby.  Then, I couldn't think of anything trivial.

Now that I have one of my own, it's no wonder A.A. Milne wrote a book of poetry for six year olds.  Something magical happened when Lily turned six on 12/22/08: she blossomed socially.  It was like she awoke from baby slumber into a true, young girl: she's chatting like mad; very confident; sassy; cracking jokes; telling her friends to copy her; had her first sleep over; and is suddenly full of 'poo poo and pee pee' songs.  It's a lot of fun....but it also makes me melancholy for my baby.  Now that we're in this stage of life the curtain has officially closed on 'totland'.  She had her friend Eleanor sleep over last night.  I was so relieved when Lily came into my room for a cuddle after her friend fell asleep.  I was actually heartened to hear her say, "I miss you mama."  I miss you too my darling....but I'm still here for you.  I always will be.

It was inevitable, right? That we'd have a posting about Facebook? Have you discovered it yet? It's brilliant, actually, how you can get sucked into it reluctantly, and then get caught up in it as you collect more friends, as if that's the ticket to [Facebook] popularity. It's weird, incredible, fun, a time-sucker and the new way of relating to others. I like it and yet, am suspicious of it at the same time.

Does it not seem odd that I discovered that two of my friends were pregnant on Facebook?

Granted, these friends live in different states, and I don't see them regularly. That's what makes it terrific, that I can still have a connection with people that I love in different parts of the world, and it's easy to post and share photos, and have a casual exchange with them, but it sometimes makes me sad that it's not the real thing. I am reminded that I am not seeing my friends regularly, having playdates and seeing our kids grow together. But if it weren't for Facebook, I'd likely lose touch with them altogether.

Maybe because it's the fact that I work alone and don't have the benefit of an office environment, so in a way, it allows me to have that water-cooler connection with others. I can see what's on their mind and they can share news or events or links or whatever. It definitely got interesting this past election as well, as Facebook became a new newsboard. I even "dropped" a few FB friends whose political views were starting to get me rattled.

That leads me to the other great/not so great thing about it...that you can look up some old friends that you've lost touch with...a few dear friends have found me, and some not so dear friends. Often those one went to high school with and have painful memories of, or people whom you don't speak to because there is no reason to do so see that you're on a similar network and suddenly want to be your friend again. A few of my friends have actually fled FB because they didn't want to be hunted by their past...I have even contemplated whether I should have been more selective about who I wanted to have in my network...is that bad? I haven't made any real conclusions yet, because I am enjoying the community that it provides, which I think by far outweighs any minuses.

What I loved this year the most about Thanksgiving was the fact that I didn't have to cook it...again.  Though I did bring several awesome (if I do say so myself), Weight Watchers friendly side dishes, I didn't have to serve a lot of people.  What a relief.  It's not like I don't do it all year long, between birthdays and barbecues and Easter/Passover, I'm all 'entertained' out.  In fact, we had such a good time at our friend's gathering that I already put in dibs to have it there again next year.  Our friends and family all drew straws to see who would be doing it next year.  I put in for our friends twice.  They had no idea.  I acted all bummed out when I didn't draw the short straw, "Darn it.  I lost again!"  That acting training comes in very handy.

by oneofhismoms




I guess when I was a baby, my mother watched soap operas.  Perhaps her mother before her spent most of her time doing the chores our dishwasher, washing machine and microwave do so easily for us now.  I have to admit, I spend my time at home while the baby naps, neither watching 'As the World Turns,' nor baking a cake from scratch.   I'm addicted to my invisible friends.

by Rita Arens

When we moved to the suburbs, my daughter left behind a tight-knit daycare posse she'd been with since she was just a year old. The new school was better, had more toys, a bigger playground, more educational opportunities, more parties, better food.  She didn't care. It didn't have her friends.  And for a few weeks, every time I dropped her off, my heart would break in half as I looked back to see her sitting all alone at the breakfast table, staring at the other kids.

When I was a teenager, a girl in our school got pregnant.....by a college boy no less.  Very shocking.  At least back then it was.  Today, this is very common and accepted and even more common for the grandparents to raise the child whilst the young woman finishes college and or grad school.  That girl was a friend of mine by the way.  Her son, the mistake, his real name is Robert, is now 25!  The mistake will graduate law school this year.  I remember the days when he wasn't supposed to answer the phone and his family denied his existence.  Thankfully, those days are long gone.  My husband and I waited a long time to have Lily.  She's now five and we're now old.  I'm 40.  I can't believe I actually typed that out loud.  Actually, at first I typed 36.  How pathetic, I'm even lying to people I can't see about my age.  Here's even more shocking news:  this dinosaur is trying to reproduce.  Should my eggs be in the Smithsonian too??

"When we were kids we couldn't afford vacations but my mother's Jewish so we went on guilt trips instead...they last so much longer too."
 -- SherryDavey

Two weeks ago I did a gig at a beach club on Fire Island.  It didn't pay that well in dollars but what it did pay well in was free hotel rooms....a currency I'm all for.  So, we left Lily on the main land with our in-laws and headed off with some friends for a night of laughing, dancing and recharging (left to right:  moi; Dan; and fellow comedian Vicky Kuperman). 

Above right was our view on the ferry over to Fire Island.  We kicked back with some diet cokes (we're all on Weight Watchers so we chose to save our points for something much more satisfying than beer....chocolate) and just stared off into the distance for a dose of late day vitamin D.  With the economy and our savings accounts all being in the state they're in, this was the perfect alternative to the stay-cation.  Getting away with friends or just that one special friend (let's hope it's your husband or wife) even for one night is just what the doctor ordered for parents.  Believe it or not, the kids could probably use a break from us too.

Where have you been this summer?  Got any stories of the perfect staycation or daycations to share? 

I think we can all agree that nothing builds a summer home for a therapist faster than favoring one child over another......

We have a family friend (let's call her Sara for now) whom we've known for years.  Our parents are friends therefore we see them at holidays and so forth.  She's definitely not a member of my Brooklyn Momtourage.  Let me make that very clear.  Last year, much to our dismay, she, her petulant husband and her two children moved three miles from us in Brooklyn. 

Sara most definitely favors her younger child and caters to that child to the detriment of all others and most importantly the older sibling.  It borders on co-dependency.  It so happens the catered-to child is a male.....who is much like her husband whom she caters to on an outrageous level as well....in fact it's Lifetime Movie Of The Week, forget-the-women's-liberation-movement, can-I-cut-your-meat-for-you??, I'm-not-really-hurt-it's-just-a-little-blood catering status.  The older, much ignored sibling is a sweet, considerate, little girl. 

This has been a topic of discussion for years because we spend every Hanukah/Christmas with them and god forbid the older child receives one gift more than the younger, the younger will throw a fit and the older child will have to give the gift back to Sara who then gives it to charity.  Sara merely has to say to her daughter, "Hand it over you're upsetting your brother," and the girl relinquishes the gift....always to the shock and amazement of everyone.  We all chime in with our annual, "What?!  Are you kidding me?"  But she ignores us.  And when her son throws these fits I don't know who I want to smack more him or her. 

I used to be able to live frugally but nicely on about $150-200 a week.  It went on food and gas but I still had money left over for the little things like an ice cream at the park, a slice of pizza for Lily (I'm on Weight Watchers remember?), an impulse outfit buy for Lily or a quick trip to the dollar store for some lead laden pool toys.  But now, that $150-200 is just flying out of my pocket! 

I spent $48 filling up my gas tank the other day and that's for a small, economical car.  (I can't imagine what all those fools who drive SUV's were ever thinking.)  My car may be old but it still gets around 32-33 miles per gallon so I'm going to drive it till the wheels fall off.  Then, I went to the grocery store to quickly get some milk, bread, and other staples and I spent another $47 bucks!  Now, I've got just $5 cash till I break down and go to the cash machine.....something I hate doing.

All our friends are feeling the pinch too so we're having our very first 'pot luck' barbecue with our neighborhood momtourage in Brooklyn this Friday.  Everyone brings one dish so the responsiblity of feeding everyone doesn't fall on one family.  And, we each bring a cocktail pitcher or bottle of wine.  It's a cheap night out and it's going to be a blast 'cause there's nothing more fun than hanging with good friends and enjoying good food.....the laughter of all the kids playing in the background is a big help too.

What are you doing to lighten your budget?  Any tips on saving money?

It's summer and schools out!  Time for the annual flood of friends and family from all over the world to visit NYC....and stay with us.  People in our family jokingly refer to our home as the Brooklyn B&B....only we serve dinner and lunch too thank you very much. 

It's only July 9th and we've already had 2 sets of visitors.  Last week, we had the more enjoyable visitor - our friend's eleven year old son Jonathon.  Lily just adores him and they had a fabulous time together.  We did: the beach several times; the Bronx Zoo;  Statue of Liberty (Statued of Liverty as Lily calls it); Chinatown; Little Italy; parks; and the grand finale....the latest Disney Pixar release Wall-E.  Thank god my husband stepped in and let me sit that one out.  I'm fried on children's television and films.  I don't care how cute the trailor is there's not enough alcohol in the world to get me through another kids summer blockbuster release.

P.S. - I bribed Lily with candy to look directly at the camera for this shot!

The only thing better than a summer home is a friend with a summer home.  This is the place our little Brooklyn family hopes to be visiting every weekend this summer.  Yes, we have a pool in our backyard but nothing beats the heat of a summer in the city like a weekend in the country.

Long Island Railroad here we come.

Do you have any plans to get away this summer?

I feel like I'm the only woman left in NYC that hasn't seen SEX IN THE CITY  the movie.  It's opening weekend box office topped $55million according to MSN films, a number that way surpasses the population of all five boroughs.  I'm waiting to see it with my Mama's Night Out momtourage 'cause that's how you're supposed to see this movie...with your girlfriends.  The only problem is, I won't be seeing them till July so until then I'm going to be sexless in the city till then. 

Did you see the movie?  Did you see it with your girlfriends or should we be making whipping sounds followed by meowing cat noises for your husband?  How was it?  Please let me know but don't give away the ending. 

I was a volunteer chaperone on Lily's Kindergarten class trip to Green Meadows Farm this week in Queens, NY.  Our city kids had a fabulous time: milking cows; collecting eggs; going on hay rides; and generally torturing all the cute baby animals.  Lily is no Jeffrey Dahmer but oh my goodness she can be rough with baby bunnies....good thing I was there.  There were some tears...and not just because I forgot my Claritin.  Her teachers are truly underpaid.  Here are some adorable snaps: