Results tagged “girl power” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

Here's a picture of Lily playing with her cousin Patrick.  Lily enjoys spending time with her cousin but she definitely has a healthy fear of him and it's well earned.  As one can tell from this photo, he likes to play rough.  So does she but boys, even at the age of 7 I find, are already exponentially stronger than girls.  No wonder why girls take Karate!  He likes to give her bear hugs and squeeze her neck (see Exhibit A).  His, is a love that kills.  However, she is about 2 inches taller than him already so he better watch out.  Pay back can be a beyotch my dear nephew.....as we found last weekend.....

I listened to all the vapid talking heads on Good Morning America this morning review the controversial new PSA on domestic violence featuring actress Keira Knightley.  You know you live in a misogynist culture when people take issue with a psa on domestic violence.  Yes, the images are graphic and disturbing....but here's a dose of reality.....domestic violence is graphic and disturbing.  It's only a film and it's meant to be wake us up out of our anesthetized state of stupidity on the subject.  Enough with the sugar coating already.  We're all so overweight as it is.  Let's thin down on reality.  That's the plan for spring: let's all shed 20 pounds worth of denial.

Lily had two girlfriends over today for a play date as it's still too bloody cold here in the northeast to play outside for longer than one hour.  That trip to Florida last week ruined me for the rest of winter...I'll be complaining and shivering long into June.  Any hoo, the girls had a great time except for the tears, bickering, whining, door slamming, foot stomping drama....and that was just me.....no, just kidding.  That was all the domain of the other ladies in the house.....

  Finally, a Hollywood actress is doing more with her breasts than just flaunting them on the red carpet.....and people are upset?  I generally don't write about celebrities unless they're doing something monstrously stupid or ridiculously funny because let's face it:  they're over exposed; completely boring; unimportant; narcisstic; and mostly irrelevant.  However, this story really has me intrigued.  Apparently, Selma Hayek, was in Sierra Leone and breastfed a malnourished baby boy....whom she's not related to.....(pause)....okay.   Sounds good to me....right?  Sounds like she may have even saved the baby's life.  So.....isn't that a good thing?  Haven't people ever heard of wet nurses?   Wouldn't you share your breast milk with a starving baby?  I don't see a problem. 

Now that I have one of my own, it's no wonder A.A. Milne wrote a book of poetry for six year olds.  Something magical happened when Lily turned six on 12/22/08: she blossomed socially.  It was like she awoke from baby slumber into a true, young girl: she's chatting like mad; very confident; sassy; cracking jokes; telling her friends to copy her; had her first sleep over; and is suddenly full of 'poo poo and pee pee' songs.  It's a lot of fun....but it also makes me melancholy for my baby.  Now that we're in this stage of life the curtain has officially closed on 'totland'.  She had her friend Eleanor sleep over last night.  I was so relieved when Lily came into my room for a cuddle after her friend fell asleep.  I was actually heartened to hear her say, "I miss you mama."  I miss you too my darling....but I'm still here for you.  I always will be.

When I had my second child, I was positive that it was going to be a girl. Or rather I was HOPING that it was going to be a girl. But I ended up having two boys. Though I've tried to blur the gender identities to some degree--let's face it, my sons would rather play with action figures instead of baby dolls, and are able to turn anything into a weapon, even a pillow. I often mourn the loss of my unborn girl, and think of the things I won't have the opportunity to do:

1. I won't get to buy the cute clothes with the beautiful stitching and embroidery.
2. I won't get to play dress up with her: try on frilly dresses and high heels, and experiment with make-up.
3. I won't be able to get manicures with her.
4. I won't get to decorate her room with flowers and butterflies.
5. I won't get to buy a doll at American Girl Place or take her to the cafe (I know it's cheesy, but still).
6. I won't be able to buy a tutu or knit her a poncho.
7. I won't get to play with dolls with her and have tea parties.
8. I won't get to braid or curl her hair.
9. I won't get to help her shop for a prom or wedding dress.
10. I won't be able to see her become a woman and have her own children one day.

I try to remind myself that I'm saving lots of money, that I'm spared of the excess of pink and purple, and the Princesses marketing blitz, and the worry that comes with adolescence. Somehow, I have to get excited about stripes (in boys' clothes), and work on my battling skills. And live vicariously through my friends' experiences with their girls.

This ride was symbolic of the emotional roller coaster we were on with Lily and all her female cousins this past Sunday.  We spent the day at a wonderful (and expensive) amusement park but still....very few of the female children were happy or allowed us to see them being happy.  They're all budding divas and drama queens no matter what their birth order.  It was a day of crying, sighing, demanding, threatening, door slamming, ultimatums, foot stamping and that was just the five year olds.  I was like who wants Midol?  By the end of the day, I felt like Lindsay Lohan's personal assistant.  Do you suffer from little girl drama??  Do tell.

You know, the whole Sarah Palin nomination for GOP VP has really got me thinking.  Every time I see her, she's posing with her husband and her five children...she's pro-life if you haven't heard already.  Well, she must be pro-babysitter and pro-daycare too because who is raising her children while she's busy being Governor of Alaska and now VP hopeful - campaigning all over the place?  Why have a big family if you're not intending to raise them?  Are all these pictures just more lies being propagated by our society that we can have it all?  That we can have whatever we want:  tons of children, a happy family and a fabulous career?  Is that even possible?

Lately, Lily has been somewhat rude to me.  She is definitely a bossy gal...wonder who she gets that from?!  Not me!  No.  Not possible. 

What ever happened to that sweet little baby who used to worship the ground I walk on?  Honestly, I don't need to be worshipped but at least regarded as a fellow human being deserving some basic rights like: not walking in on me when I'm on the toilet with her friends in tow; talking over me when I'm saying something loving like, "I'm so proud of you,"; sighing a great deal when I'm speaking and/or not finding what I say interesting anymore. 

I guess it's over......and she's only 5.  I thought the tween years start at 10 or 11 not 5.  Help!  Has this happened to you?!

Any one who knows me knows that I'm for girls having all the same opportunities as boys.  I'm a comedian for gods sake!  Try breaking through the glass ceiling of that boys club.  I'm definitely for the whole, "You go girl" movement.  I loved the Spice Girls.  I always try to set a good example for my daughter and my niece too by demonstrating that women can do anything that men can do...albeit the physically obvious like peeing standing up (unless they're drag queens).

We went to our friend's son's wrestling tournament the other day.  Much to my surprise and delight girls were participating in every weight class of the match.  However, they didn't have a separate girls league yet because there isn't enough interest.  (Give it time I say, whenever we heard there was a girls league in any sport of any kind when we were growing up we participated and our father encouraged us to.) 

Seeing girls wrestle with boys was just wrong.  It looked like an attack or like we were interrupting something....... 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet another wacky news story is spreading like a virus.  It's manic Monday my dear readers.  This one takes the cake:  A Maine woman was taken to a hospital rather than a jail cell after she began going into labor in the back seat of a police car following her arrest on a domestic violence charge this past weekend.

Police said the 23-year-old gave birth after being arrested earlier in the evening for allegedly assaulting her husband in a fight while driving.  Road rage is taking on a whole new meaning.  I'm shocked - she's married at 23!  Poor thing.

Officer Doug Maifeld told the Sun Journal of Lewiston that the woman, who was eight months pregnant, began going into contractions in the back of the police car. He said an ambulance met them at the police station and took the woman to the hospital.  Police said the mother and baby were then taken to Maine Medical Center in Portland, where they were reported to be fine. 

Perhaps all that exertion brought on labor.  I remember taking walks around the hospital to bring on labor I just should have beaten up my husband....lord knows I was in enough pain too.  Did I miss something?  Is beating up other people the new lamaze?  Breathe and beat ladies.  Do you think she'll blame this on raging hormones? 

Did you beat your husband when you were pregnant?  Did you come close?

Sorry readers I couldn't help commenting on this photo I saw on AOL.com today.  My b.s. barometer has reached fever pitch and there's not enough Children's Tylenol in this house to break it.  I know what you're thinking.....this photo of Bush must be photo-shopped because we've never seen him expressing real emotion in the form of tears before for the victims of the war that he started in Iraq.  Finally.  But do you think he really cares about all our young soldiers dying over there?  Or for the Iraqi people?  The families (in both countries) that are being destroyed by this senseless war?  The fact that we've taken the most secular country in the Middle East and completely devastated their economy and their infrastructure?  And what about our own economy?  Our own infrastructure?  Our schools? 

The bridge in my neighborhood was just voted one of the 20 most heavily trafficked in the U.S. in need of immediate repair.  And it's over water!  There's no money to fix it either but there's money for a war.  And for those of you who say, that money comes from a different place I say it comes from the same place - the tax payers pocket.  Enough already.  Every great civilization falls:  ancient Rome did too fighting countless wars against supposed 'invaders'.  I wonder if they referred to the Gauls as the evil doers?  A man started this war I think it will take a woman to end it.....and you know who I'm talking about.  But I think it would be even more sweetly ironic if the man to assume office after Bush has the middle name Hussein.  Maybe there is a god after all.

I checked out the Miss Bimbo Virtual Fashion Game today after attending a luncheon for a very dignified female icon in the world of black and white print media: the still gorgeous and glamorous at 85 Liz Smith.  The luncheon was held at the Friars Club in New York City and there were many accomplished, educated, funny, non bimbos in attendance. 

All the ladies at our table were buzzing about the aforementioned site.  We were all pretty much in agreement that it puts the whore in horrendous.  Sadly, we are neither surprised nor shocked by it's existence.  We're female comedians for gods sake - we've been commenting on misogyny for years - and making a living at it. 

We're counting on Hillary to make a comment on the site.  The world needs to hear from the apotheosis of non bimbos on this one.  And I can't wait to hear what she has to say.  God knows this poor woman has had her fill of bimbos over the years.  I'm sure she was the first phone call Mrs. Spitzer made last week.  Forget all the nastiness and back biting associated with endless campaigning Hillary.  (She and Barack are now misspeaking and just plain saying things that aren't true because they're bloody exhausted already.  You can see the fatigue writ large their faces.)  And what's more, the American public seems to be growing weary of the campaign already.  Let's get back to the real issues: ending the war; educating our children; taking care of our economy; feeding the poor; raising non bimbos.  Come on now girlfriend.  We need you more than ever Hillary.

My friend's daughter, Hillary, is only 11 and she's menstruating already.  In fact, she started last fall when she was just turning 11.  Like me, my friend is also into organic food.  That's how we met actually: we struck up a conversation on Flax Seed Oil at our local farmer's market.  She started her kids on an organic diet when they were just infants and she's quite the enthusiast, prompting me to rename her the Nutrition Nazi.

Well Hillary just announced to me yesterday that she has PMS.  It caught me quite off guard, I had no idea.  Not that I would, it's clearly none of my business.  I was like. "You have Pre Math Syndrome?"  I mean, she's 11 for god's sake....I hated Trigonometry too.  Then I suddenly remembered my friend from college, who was quite the hippy, also raising her daughters on organic food and that they all entered puberty quite early too:  like 10 or 11.  My college buddy didn't start menstruating herself till she was 14.