Results tagged “parenting” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

  Playdates these days seem harder and harder to come by.....specifically in the suburbs.  You know, when we lived in Brooklyn, getting together with other children was much easier.  We just used to meet in the playground after school.  Easy enough.  You got to meet the other kids and their parents (good or bad) in a matter of minutes and from there it was on to the greener pastures of individual play dates....or you could just put them on your personal 'do not call list' or click your imaginary 'ignore' button on your face-to-face book.  I really miss that ease of socialization that one gets in an urban environment....it's one of the few things I do miss....the noise, the crowds, the perpetual freak show aspect of New York City, being hit on by the homeless and the constant dog poop under my shoes I do not.  

  Halloween has really become like another holiday in our culture.  This year, with it falling on a Saturday, the madness was really ramped up another notch.  Lily and her cousins trick-or-treated for hours.  The day culminated in a rousing Halloween pizza party complete with 10 screaming, costumed kids.  Here's a picture of Lily as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, her cousin as Raggedy Ann and her other cousin as the Naked Cowboy (from Times Square Fame - he's always an original this kid, no psuedo-edgy Harry Potter stuff for this munchkin).  Don't worry, he was wearing a full body stocking with long underwear underneath.....but with all that sugar coarsing through his veins he couldn't feel a thing anyway.

Our friend Hunter has sticky fingers and I don't mean from his juice box.  After our play date yesterday, he helped himself to a gratis Snickers bar from the deli.  You see, he wanted Reeses Pieces and a Snickers but was faced with an awful choice when told by his mum that he could only have one.  We didn't realize he had taken the Snickers until we were down the street and he had finished his Reeses only to begin working on the Snickers!  His mother was furious!!  She told him off, gave him a time out, made him go back and apologize and pay for it and it did not end there.  There was an embarrassing conversation over dinner with his father about his crime which resulted in him losing all Wii privelages this weekend.

Here's the latest in what I call extreme toys:  a scooter that creates sparks.  Here's the description of it from Amazon verbatim: "Adding a bit of spark to the original kick scooter, the Razor Spark has modified its A2 scooter with a foot controlled, detachable Spark Bar to light up your ride. The Spark Scooter's spark cartridge creates 20 percent more sparks than other brands on the market thanks to its 5 flint pads. A bonus spark cartridge is included."  Flint pads have been added to a child's toy??!!  Are these toy manufacturers insane??  Did this thing come from China?  Lead based toothpaste, Thalate in baby bottles....it's not a stretch to think China's trying to destroy us.  Maybe it was Al Qaeda?  Sounds like an old Saturday Night Live sketch doesn't it?:  "Here's a great toy for the kids.....Johnny Blow Torch....or how about a bag of broken glass!"  And I thought Pee And Poo Plush toys were ridiculous.  Whoever came up with this latest idea had their head firmly rooted up their a$$.  I smell a recall.  Reeecalllllaaaaa........think Ricola cough drops.

Remember when the movie Mr. Mom played the whole idea of being a stay-at-home dad for laughs? Times, apparently, have changed--and thank goodness. The stereotype that men are somehow unable to take care of children--that their days will be inevitably filled with crisis and exploding pans of pasta--is hopefully dying, and with good reason. There are suddenly a lot more stay at home dads out there.

Maybe your husband is, for all intents and purposes, out of work. Maybe he's been the major breadwinner in your home for the last 13 years while you've put your career on the back burner to raise the children. Maybe your marriage is structured this way and maybe it works like a steady farm horse.

But maybe, suddenly, in the scheme of things, you've got a sullen stranger on your hands with a crazy-man's beard, wandering the house in his college sweatpants. And you really don't have the heart to tell him that they don't fit anymore. (Remember what Seinfeld said about sweatpants? That's when you know you've given up.) Dare I say, he had.

photo: ©Jenny Goodall/Daily Mail/ZUMA Press

Three years ago, a 21-year-old mom in England was denied custody of her premature newborn after social workers determined that she wasn't intelligent enough to care for it. Now, she's making a last-ditch effort to get her child back. The story was first reported in the Daily Mail.

Rachel Pullen, now 24, wasn't allowed to take her newborn home from the hospital after the baby was born at 27 weeks with severe complications, and the child was placed in foster care shortly thereafter. Now, with the child on the verge of being adopted, Pullen is taking her case to the European Court of Human Rights.

In April 2008, Lenore Skenazy did the unthinkable in the eyes of helicopter parents: She let her 9-year-old son ride the New York City subway alone. Some called her a hero, while others called her crazy, dubbing her "America's Worst Mom" for her little experiment in childhood independence. Skenazy then wrote a book, Free-Range Kids: Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry, encouraging parents to chill out and let their kids be kids.

I may get the evil eye for saying this--and I can kiss potential babysitting jobs good-bye--but I give this woman props. Alright, so, I may not have children of my own yet, but as a product of two former hippies, I grew up with parents who adopted the free-range parenting philosophy--and I think I came out better than okay. I am not trying to toot my own horn, but my parents gave me the tools, love and guidance I needed to grow up as a mature, responsible and independent adult. Here's how...

When Lily was 5 I was the center of her universe....a place I loved being though I knew it was short lived.  I did enjoy it while it lasted though.  The six year old child is a complex, independence seeking, bipolar animal who swings from extremes like, "Mommy I want to love you all day," to "I don't like you, you're not my friend anymore."  And that was only because I wanted her off my computer for a minute...jeeesh.....what's she gonna say when things really get bad?  "You're a disappointment as a mother?!"  Ooowwww!  Tough crowd.  Good thing I have a strong sense of self.  I know Youtube is addicting but puh-lease.

I was flipping through an issue of GQ Magazine (the one with Robert Pattinson on the cover) while getting my haircut, when I happened upon an article entitled, "The Unspeakable Choice by Wil S. Hylton." I was drawn in by the deck: "Last summer, the state of Nebraska made it legal to abandon a child. Then the children started flooding in--eleven a day at one point, from all over the country." According to the article, people were coming as far away as California and Florida to leave their children at "safe havens" in Nebraska, and that under the new law, they could not be prosecuted for doing so.

While created to protect young mothers from leaving newborns in dumpsters, these were not the parents who were taking advantage of this new law. It turned out that many of the children who were abandoned had mental illnesses, and that many of the parents saw this solution as the only way that their child might get help (because their insurance didn't cover treatment, or because they didn't have the means).

This article surprised me. Firstly, because I didn't know that it was ever OK to leave your children (Texas, where I reside, just happens to be another state that protects parents), and that so many parents were driving so far in order to do this. It made me wonder, of course, what type of parent would do such a thing. Sure, there have been times when I was so annoyed with my children, that the thought entered my mind, but I could never bring myself to actually do that. The article also made me ponder whether these parents were lazy and/or neglegent, or if this was their cry for help.

There's a new documentary chronicling the grueling process of preschool admissions in New York City: Nursery University. I'm guessing that "University" refers to the comparison to competitive college admissions, and the belief that the path to the coveted Ivy League schools begins at the exclusive nursery school. Which is why these parents are shown going to great lengths to secure a place for their children in these institutions.

Just watching the trailer makes me anxious. The recent baby boom means that there are many, many toddlers vying for the precious few spots in private pre-k. While I didn't encounter this when I lived in New York (luckily Mr G was painlessly accepted to a terrific school in Park Slope called Beansprouts), I did find this to be the case when I moved to Austin. In Texas, many moms put their babes on waiting lists when their child is in utero, hopefully timing it so that two years later, the child will be accepted. According to the film, niether expensive tuition nor the economic downturn is enough to deter folks from applying to these NY schools. On the contrary, the low odds seemed to make people more determined to get in.

I'm curious if you or anyone you know went through a similar challenging experience trying to get into a desirable nursery school.

First there was the case that made national news: Six Pennsylvania teenagers were charged with child pornography--a felony, which could land all of them on the state sex offender registry--for sending or receiving nude photos of each other on their cell phones.

Many parents of Lily's fellow Kindergarteners are getting anxious about the upcoming annual testing for our district's Eagle Program - accelerated classes for exceptional students.  I spoke with four mothers after school yesterday in the park about how they feel their children are 'perfect candidates' (believe me I was sucked into the conversation, I tried to back out gracefully several times but, like the Godfather, they just kept pulling me back in).