Results tagged “raising kids” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

That's right, you heard it moms and dads.  The 16-year old Disney star did a Brittney inspired pole dance last night at the Teen Choice Awards....and this is the young woman my tweenage, 9 year old niece looks up to?!  Talk about the wrong message!  Didn't they have a meeting before the show?  Or a rehearsal?...where someone over the age of 18 would have the chance to say, "Ummmm, I don't think so sweet pea.  Put your wig and your clothes back on and get rid of the pole."  It's bad enough that Disney constantly barages us with busty, small waisted female animated characters like Ariel and Tinkerbell (whom I really think is a drag queen anyway)....now they're bringing those cartoons to life?!   Puh-lease.  I guess this means I have to start working out again.

by oneofhismoms




New York City has a strange phenomenon --  cut-throat competition for coveted spots at fancy private pre-schools.  I've always chuckled quietly to myself upon overhearing people obsessing about pre-school admissions.  I teach in a public school.  Though some public schools do deserve a bad rap, many of them, like the school in which I teach, are wonderful places -- places I wouldn't mind at all to send my child.  They're free, too.  I never thought I'd get crazy like that.  That is, until I tried to get my son into a public Pre-K class.

OMG!  I have been following this story like a mad woman.  In general, I scoff at reality shows but since day one I've been addicted to Jon & Kate Plus 8 and most recently, The Real Housewives series on Bravo (whether they're from New York City or Orange County I love those bitchy broads).  I've always been addicted to Jon & Kate Plus 8 because just the fact that these people have 6 children all of the same age in one household is completely compelling.  I thought potty training one 3 year old was hard enough....imagine doing it for 6 all at the same time!!  Not fun but these two people handle the children with a lot of grace and patience.  I'm continuously impressed.  So, my obvious fan status makes me uniquely qualifed to comment on their situation.  I've been reading all the comments from our readers to the original post about the story earlier this month and taking in reactions from various television talking heads and I'm appalled.

Many parents of Lily's fellow Kindergarteners are getting anxious about the upcoming annual testing for our district's Eagle Program - accelerated classes for exceptional students.  I spoke with four mothers after school yesterday in the park about how they feel their children are 'perfect candidates' (believe me I was sucked into the conversation, I tried to back out gracefully several times but, like the Godfather, they just kept pulling me back in).  

As if there isn't enough pressure on kids today, there seems to be a push to get babies to read now.  Remember when teaching your baby to sign was all the rage?  I remember seeing tons of babies in restaurants signing the 'eat' sign and thinking, "What a shame.  There are so many deaf children in the northeast."  I had no idea at the time that it was a movement!  I woke up late last night, after passing out on the couch around 8:30pm.  Lily is on vacation this week from school so we took her and her friend for a fun-filled day at the New York Hall of Science, needless to say I was wiped out.  The place was so crowded we could barely move but the kids didn't seem to mind.  I guess the native New Yorker in them doesn't mind 20 person ques for the toilet and various science/math games.  Any rate, I digress, around 2am I came across an infomercial for Your Baby Can Read or some such thing...I can't remember the exact name and I don't care to give them a plug here anyway.  It was so ridiculous it was laughable.....

per.mis.sive - adjective 1. habitually or characteristically accepting or tolerant of something, as social behavior or linguistic usage, that others might disapprove or forbid. 

I only turned on the television a few times over the holiday week and each time I did it was more depressing: from the recession; to the war; to the attacks in the middle east; and to the most depressing of all - the press' relentless coverage of the Obama family in Hawaii.  I'm sure you saw the countless photos of him with his girls just trying to buy ice cream.  There were times when one could just read from the President Elect's face that his B.S. Barometer had reached fever pitch.  It raised the same annoyance levels in me as when Sarah Palin would spout words like "dontcha" or "gotcha". 

every hear of this saying? its a buzz word around my son's school's approach to teaching. and i "get it", but usually when i mention it in mixed company, i get horrified and/or clueless stares. its worse when i've mentioned it on online parent communities, there things get aggressive. 

Our 5-year-old daughter Lily is our only child.  It wasn't our plan to have only one child...but so far, that's just how it worked out.  If it was though, that would be fine too.  We're working on changing her status but in the meantime, we've still got the brand.  I feel like every day, in one way or another, I'm reminded that we only have one child.....not from good friends of course but the public at large.  I just love it when people meet us for the first time and say things like, "Is she your only one?"  Emphasis on only.  "You really should have another...just in case."  Thanks.  Thanks for that reminder...what did you say your name was?....the grim reaper??  Oh sorry, I forgot. 

It's all over the internet: GOP Veep Candidate Sarah Palin's unmarried teen daughter is pregnant. And? Why am I not shocked? Heres some new for you - it happens every day in America and all over the world for that matter. It's no secret, we all know that teen pregnancy rates among girls 15-19 years of age in America are on the rise. As the mother of a daughter, I'm hoping that perhaps this will draw some attention to this disturbing trend. I heard the Democratic Presidential Candidate say over the weekend (I'm paraphrasing), "..families and children [of politicians] should be off limits." Exactly. Right on Mr. Obama, once again you have proven that you are the man.

Lately, Lily has been somewhat rude to me.  She is definitely a bossy gal...wonder who she gets that from?!  Not me!  No.  Not possible. 

What ever happened to that sweet little baby who used to worship the ground I walk on?  Honestly, I don't need to be worshipped but at least regarded as a fellow human being deserving some basic rights like: not walking in on me when I'm on the toilet with her friends in tow; talking over me when I'm saying something loving like, "I'm so proud of you,"; sighing a great deal when I'm speaking and/or not finding what I say interesting anymore. 

I guess it's over......and she's only 5.  I thought the tween years start at 10 or 11 not 5.  Help!  Has this happened to you?!

Lily is only 5 years old but OMG! she's officially become a drama queen...lately, I think drag queens are easier going.  I asked her to put her shoes in the shoe bin last night, something she's been doing for years.  I don't like shoes in the house because it's like bringing the street in your home...and we live in Brooklyn one can only imagine what goes on in that street.  All she had to do was reach over 3 feet and put them in the bin but instead she had her nineteenth nervous breakdown.

"You're ruining my life!"  She said as she through herself on the floor in a tearful fit.  Then she threw the shoes across the room.  I know....it was really funny, so over the top.  Give her a feather boa already.

"Sweetie, all I ask is that you put your shoes in the bin so you don't trip on them and break your neck.  This is not ruining your life....I have yet to begin to ruin your life," was my response.

Is this kind of dramatic behavior common for 5 year olds?  I hate it when friends say, "It's a girl thing."  My nephew is a drama king as well so obviously that logic doesn't apply.

It's Official:  Lily hates me.  And to think, less than two hours ago I was the best mama in the world....because I put whipped cream on her popsicle.  How fickle is her love!  Just because I had the temerity to ask her to put away her shoes....excuse me, not even put them away, just pop them in the shoe basket less than 5 feet from where she was sitting.  What a shrew!  What a cow I am.  Mean mommy is back.

No matter how much I joke though, actually hearing your darling child spew venom like "I hate you" stings just a little bit.  I try to be all logical and respond with, "It's okay that you hate me for the moment.  I still love you.  Now put your shoes in the basket or no Little Einstein's today."  When inside I'm like, "Screw you kid!  Do you know what I went through to have you?  You were 9 and a half pounds.  That translates to 14 stitches.  My vagina was pretty much rerouted because of you.  Now when I sneeze I pee myself.  Thanks kid.  Take your crocs and blah blah......(various unmentionables)." 

But it's all okay.  She is definitely just asserting her 5 year old, alpha female independence. If I'm feeling particularly needy all I have to do is send a few Oreos her way and I'm back in....but mean mommy is no sucker.  Share your "I hate you mommy" stories with us please....I guarantee you'll feel much better.

We read to Lily every day and always before bedtime but now that school is out for the summer, we are really rev-ing up the reading and with gas being almost $4.50 a gallon I see a lot of books in our future.  At the moment, my favorite children's author is Mo Willems partly because he's a fellow Brooklynite and partly because his books are just positively hilarious.  He's penned a series of stories about a true George Costanza inspired, urban pest:  the pigeon that are just drop dead, laugh out loud funny and as a comedian I really appreciate that.    "Don't Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus" and "The Pigeon Has Feelings, Too!" are just a few of the titles that we love in this house.

Children's books can be almost as monotonous as children's television so we always appreciate ones that we can all laugh at.  Do you have any recommendations?  Any titles you want to share?  They don't have to be funny.

When we were growing up my parents never had enough time nor money to spoil us.  They were so busy just making ends meet that if we didn't like what was on our plate for dinner there were no 'other options' (like "...don't worry, I went to Costco I've got extra grilled chicken in the fridge..."), if we cried because we didn't want to go to bed we got spanked.  There was no negotiating with those two.  But when it comes to their grandchildren, my parents completely indulge them....as it should be.  Consider the photo to your right exhibit A. 

Lily asked for an ice cream yesterday and my mother spent 10 extra minutes cutting up enough strawberries and Hershey's kisses to make a 'Rooster' cone for her.  This is coming from the same woman who said phrases to us like, "I'll knock you into next week."  Go figure.

Do your parents spoil your children? Tell us how.

As a parent, chances are you've read or heard about other parents dealing with their children lashing out at them "I hate you!"; "I wish you would die" etc.

Being a mother of a 6 year old boy and a 3 year old girl, I always thought...not my kids. They would never. Well...it happened today. My son Shane, yes my 6 year old, spewed. He was angry with me because I was raising my voice and telling him to get up the stairs to get ready for bed. Now mind you, he was beyond tired and didn't want to hear me nagging him, however, it SO didn't give him any right to say what he said..."I hope you die soon!"

My God! I still am devastated.

Like I've said, you hear about this from other people - but I never, thought I would experience it, especially this soon. Am I naive? In denial? Apparently. My little boy has always been such a loving, sweet and considerate child. I am in shock. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with him? Is this normal?

After the bout, he got into his bed. I tucked in my little one and came back to his room. Gave him a kiss on his head and said 'No matter what you say to me, no matter how hurtful or wrong it is, I will always love you." The poor kid started crying and said that he hates himself for saying such a mean thing and that he shouldn't say bad things to mommy and daddy.

Is that the reaction you hope for? I guess. Gosh. I really didn't know how to handle it. You want to smack them upside the head. You want to yell more. You want to cry - well, I did. But you just hope whatever you say and however you handle it, makes them feel loved and understand that they just simply can't say those amazingly hurtful words. Obviously you know they don't really mean it, but wow - it slapped me right in the face.

Not sure if I will ever get over it. 

Have you? I'd love to hear anyone out there who has heard this from their little unappreciative offsprings!

Looking forward to hearing everyone else's devastation!

Thanks for responding.

Between Brittney, Lindsay and Miley, I think it's quite clear that children and show business are a toxic (in some cases lethal) combination.  Brittney and Lindsay are now adults and quite dysfunctional too thank you very much.  During the time Brittney was bald and beating up paparazzi with umbrellas all I could think was, "Where is this poor girls mother?"  

Birttney and Lindsay have been working full time since they were children and with their parents acting as their managers and I'm sure drawing a salary from their children's earnings based on that title.  If that's not a conflict of interest I don't know what is.  Some may argue that we don't know the details of their 'financial relationships' but I think we can easily see that Dinah Lohan now has her own reality show based on the fact that her child is a talented star.....not her.  If she wasn't the mother of Lindsay I think it's safe to say she'd make a fabulous nail technician and town gossip back on Long Island.

Would you put your children in show business?

• Yes, the millions they earn as children could pay for all their therapy as adults
• No
• Not sure

I don't think so but so many parents of Lily's male classmates seem to differ.  I think both sexes pose their own difficulties at different ages.  I have witnessed boys in the playground after school fighting more often and more seriously than the girls (literally pummeling each other) but I've also known girls who can hold a grudge for months over the slightest infraction (MY NIECE) or parents of teenage girls worrying about the very real threat of teen pregnancy (my neighbors).  Our niece, Emma, didn't talk to another girl in her class for 6 months because the little girl farted next to her.  Emma claimed she did it deliberately.  Can you imagine?!   

In your experience...

• Boys are harder to raise than girls
• Girls are harder to raise than boys
• Both sexes present their own unique problems at different ages

For years I've been telling Lily not to write on the walls only to have our contractor, Bob the Builder, do the opposite.  I tried explaining this one but she wasn't buying it.  She told him he was naughty and that if he did it again he'd get a time out or that she'd take away his favorite video.  You go girl.

In an effort to sell our triplex in Brooklyn, we're currently updating the walls and electrical fixtures.  We're into our second week of construction already, it's Tuesday morning 9:07am - none of the workmen are here yet and I'm ready to rip my eyes out.  And yes, my contractor is named Bob.  Every time he walks in the door I find myself humming that theme song.

Here are some pix of how it looks at the moment (I keep telling myself it's going to be fabulous when it's all finished):