Results tagged “relationships” from Momtourage: Blogger Knows Best

I've learned in my short life that the key to happiness is lowered expectations.  So I'm not expecting any boxes full of chocolates this Valentines nor any naughty lingerie (which is really a present for him more than for me).  I've been hinting for weeks that I like dark chocolate with nuts but I'm sure those hints fell on deaf ears.  Not to worry, they'll taste even better at half price on Sunday.  I'm not expecting much at all:  a hug from my husband; a lovely crayon drawn picture from my 6 year old (the best presents I could ever receive actually).  But one of my girlfriends passed along a great laugh to me for Valentines and I'd like to share it with you....

A man asked his wife what she'd like to have for her Birthday.  "I'd like to be six again'", she replied.

In a few hours my son and husband leave town for a long weekend to visit my (out)laws. I have not had a weekend alone, in my home in many years. It was waaay before S was born, and even then, I truly cant recall the last time I was in my house for any substantial amount of time ALONE. And boy do I have BIG plans!

Again, I don't know where my friend finds these photos but everytime she sends them my way I feel the need to share them with you.  This one brought a much needed chuckle as I received it the moment the current wave of job losses was announced.  I don't know which is worse - his legs (or just that stance??!!), those wings or that wall in need of a power washing.  Laugh it up people.  Comedy is a much needed remedy in these times.

Despite all the turmoil in the markets, partisan politics and the war in Iraq, looking at pictures of Mr. & Mrs. Obama in their most "naked" moments - in front of crowds, cameras and all the rest of us - fills me with hope.  Their respectful, tender and encouraging pda-ing including "the bump", are an example of what true love and admiration really look like.  The usual pics of presidential candidates and their wives feature them holding hands and waving to the crowds.  They're clearly just another meaningless photo op.  This is quite different.  She's got his back - literally and philosophically.  Very refreshing.

"When we were kids we couldn't afford vacations but my mother's Jewish so we went on guilt trips instead...they last so much longer too."
 -- SherryDavey

Two weeks ago I did a gig at a beach club on Fire Island.  It didn't pay that well in dollars but what it did pay well in was free hotel rooms....a currency I'm all for.  So, we left Lily on the main land with our in-laws and headed off with some friends for a night of laughing, dancing and recharging (left to right:  moi; Dan; and fellow comedian Vicky Kuperman). 

Above right was our view on the ferry over to Fire Island.  We kicked back with some diet cokes (we're all on Weight Watchers so we chose to save our points for something much more satisfying than beer....chocolate) and just stared off into the distance for a dose of late day vitamin D.  With the economy and our savings accounts all being in the state they're in, this was the perfect alternative to the stay-cation.  Getting away with friends or just that one special friend (let's hope it's your husband or wife) even for one night is just what the doctor ordered for parents.  Believe it or not, the kids could probably use a break from us too.

Where have you been this summer?  Got any stories of the perfect staycation or daycations to share? 

i am so fortunate to have found wonderful yoga teachers here in austin. so a shout out is in order to mandy who teaches from the anusara lineage, she encourages me to open up to grace and to "loop" my kidneys of all things! she is an alignment fanatic, and thinks nothing of pulling up her yoga pants above her knees to illustrate what the thigh looks like in "outer spiral".angela is a flat-out goddess! a generous soul with abundance of information about yogic philosophy, anatomy, and how to apply them to our practice. her familial, un-intimidating manner results in packed classes that feel like private lessons. she focuses me to notice how postures feel from the inside out and keeps my ego in check by reminding me that my ability to get into parsva bakasana doesn't make me a good person.

When my first son was born, my childhood friend (and mother of two teen-aged daughters) came to stay with us for a week to help with our newborn. She spoiled us by cooking, cleaning, helping with the baby, and keeping us company. I didn't realize how much I relied on her until she left.

People had warned us that having a baby was hard work, but it's really impossible to know what it's like until one experiences it for oneself. I had always worked as my husband did, so it was strange to fall into these old-fashioned roles of homemaker and breadwinner. I found myself resenting the fact that he could still wake up and shower and go to work, while I stayed home with the baby. It wasn't an equal partnership anymore; I disliked having to do more household chores, but since I wasn't earning money, I felt that I had to contribute somehow. It was difficult for me to adjust to motherhood and caring for a newborn.

Many of the parenting guides that I had read pointed out that traditionally, women in a tribe or village helped each other raise the children in their community. We were fortunate to be living in a family-friendly village of Brooklyn, with several friends becoming parents around the same time. I don't know how I would have survived those early days without the friendship and support from my momtourage. There's nothing comparable to the camaraderie one shares with other parents. It has been a pleasure to watch our kids grow up together and become playmates, too.

A good friend once told me how she fantasized that one day we would all have kids, and they could all play together and be friends too. At the time, I never wanted kids, so I thought she was crazy. Twenty years later, with kids about the same age, I can appreciate her forethought.

When we were growing up my parents never had enough time nor money to spoil us.  They were so busy just making ends meet that if we didn't like what was on our plate for dinner there were no 'other options' (like "...don't worry, I went to Costco I've got extra grilled chicken in the fridge..."), if we cried because we didn't want to go to bed we got spanked.  There was no negotiating with those two.  But when it comes to their grandchildren, my parents completely indulge them....as it should be.  Consider the photo to your right exhibit A. 

Lily asked for an ice cream yesterday and my mother spent 10 extra minutes cutting up enough strawberries and Hershey's kisses to make a 'Rooster' cone for her.  This is coming from the same woman who said phrases to us like, "I'll knock you into next week."  Go figure.

Do your parents spoil your children? Tell us how.

That's what my friend Liz refers to Valentines Day as.  After 20 years of marriage and several children later, apparently the magic is gone.  It's a lot of pressure on married people to have be all romantic on a Thursday in February.  I feel really sorry for the single people.  I have a friend who is single and has roses delivered to herself at her office every Valentines with a really sexy note.  Brilliant! 

I have to say, ever since Lily has come into our lives Valentines has been even better.  She makes us these lovely cards that have "I love you mom" written all over them...so of course I'm happy.  I bought some cute little one-bite cupcakes for her to take to class so she was just thrilled this morning.  She insisted on carrying them herself.  She slipped twice on the ice with them but fortunately they're okay (so is she).  It was a drama free morning because of those cupcakes!  I think I'll be buying her cupcakes every day from now on.

My husband and I started dating the week before Valentines.  Talk about pressure.  He gave me a card that had a picture of a camera on it with the caption, "Happy Valentines....let's see what develops."  Very noncomittal.  We laugh about it to this day......18 years later.

What did your kids make for you this Valentines?

Is it just me?......No......it couldn't be.  Everywhere I turn, people are snapping at each other and being generally hostile.  Is it the weather?  I've met many people named either May, June or August in my life but never a February.  If there was a girl named February she'd be short, cold and bitter.  There's nothing like three straight days of single digit temps to make one swear at complete strangers on the street, "It's f**king cold out here!"  Why do people do that?  We know it's cold.  Stop it.

Is it the economy?  My husband just survived (I'm thanking god as I'm writing this) another round of lay-offs at his firm that are a direct result of the bleak mortgage market.  I have a theory about why everyone is so angry now.  We're all getting daily, hopeful glimpses of our potential presidential candidates when we still have 9 months left with our first husband.  Seriously, President Bushs' presidency seems to be lingering on like a bad marriage......he just won't leave, there's no money left and he started all this trouble with the neighbors (Iraq)....it's just awful.

Today in Brooklyn, our local children's librarian yelled at me for trying to sign out THE CHILDREN'S BOOK OF POETRY from the reference section.  I forgot!  I didn't mean it really but she acted like I did it deliberately.  Goodness.  She should be happy I'm trying to take out any books for god's sake.  It's not like there's a kids reading epidemic out there.  Hasn't she read the papers lately?  (No because they're probably in reference and no one is allowed to touch them!)  Kids are failing school all over the place.  Despite rigorous curriculums, standardized test scores have been steadily decreasing since the 70's.  It appears her RIF program has not been introduced to the SAT program.   Jeesh.

Got any frantic February moments to share?  Do tell, we could all use a laugh.